This week’s episode is keeping it light for the holiday season. We have a “fireside chat” about seasons of life/business and how to navigate where you are in those seasons. We spend some time on our personal seasons and dive into “mom guilt.” Take a break from the hustle and bustle of whatever season you are in and get a pep talk from us. This chat has so many great reminders to keep you from falling victim to comparison self talk in any season.
The following is a rough transcript provided by Otter.ai.
I’m gonna bless you. I think I take that out. Hi, y’all.
Welcome to hustle humbly. It’s Alyssa and Katie and we are two top producing realtors in the Baton Rouge market.
We work for two different companies where we should be competitors. But we have chosen community over competition. The goal of our podcasts is to encourage you to find your own way in business. So stop comparing yourself and start embracing your strengths. It’s all one. Okay. Okay, this is episode 20. What did Jay say about episode 20? Apparently, that when there are two milestones in podcasting, episode eight and 20, and if you get to Episode 20, you’re going to survive, we
made it we’ve made it all so excited, because today is my birthday. It’s your birthday, but it’s not going to be my birthday when this airs. So we’re recording the 20th episode on the 20th of November, November 20, which is your birthday, my birthday, happy birthday to you. And I had caffeine for the first time today. Because I went to Starbucks to get my free coffee for my birthday. And the guy was like, I’m not giving you decaf on your mind talked you into it. And now I’m like, you’re really? Yeah, I’m really excited.
The first time you’ve had caffeine in your life? No, no, I
gave up caffeine in February of 2019. Okay, so it’s been a while. Honestly, I broke it today. That’s fine. It feels great, though. I feel like I could conquer the world from one cup of coffee. We can’t wait to hear everything you’re gonna tell us. And I thought it was funny because one of our listeners, Casey. Yeah, she did this really cute. Birthday shout out on her Instagram. And she said that we were just fun to listen to. And that we are teaching other realtors How to Be nice. And I was like, that’s perfect. I
can take credit for that I am fully on board.
You’re so funny. I was like that is just it wasn’t like your typical generic message. It was like I this is how I feel about your podcast. I’m so glad you’re teaching people to be so fun to watch and listen to No, we’re trying to have fun. Right? Right. So anyway, Episode 20. What is it about?
I don’t know the name of it yet. Okay. Sometimes we post produce that. But it’s seasons of life. And we should also mention even though we’re recording this on your birthday, this will air the week of Christmas. That’s exciting. So it’s maybe going to be a nice little just chat about the seasons of life. And I don’t know, what did I call it?
What kind of conversation fireside chat a fireside chat if we did not go anywhere too heavy during this holiday season? No. Well, we
were gonna do a different episode. But it didn’t make sense on the week of Christmas to like, make people think thing. Yeah.
We just want you to be content where you are. We’re just here to encourage you to be content. Yes. Embrace your season, embrace the holidays. Nothing too stressful. Right. But still very motivating. And we have some really good content today.
I think that’s good. Okay. Do you want to start us off? I don’t. Yeah. So
this episode was actually requested a couple of weeks ago, from an engineer. Oh, I like that. So we have an engineer listener. I’ll take them all. And she is a young female. Okay. And a very man dominant industry. Yeah, for sure. And also just starting so young. She really had to prove her worth prove how smart she is. She’s like, the smartest person I know. Makes sense. Well, engineers in general. Yeah. When show this she was my college roommate for a little while. That’s cool. And we had a dry erase board. And she did this math problem on it. It was like Goodwill Hunting. Like, what is just like, Oh, it’s so easy. But um, she understands like the struggle of just like being in a position that maybe people don’t think that you have earned and having to prove your worth and how smart and prepared you are. And the only way to really do that is to like win people over with confidence. Yes. And you have to prove your professionalism. And that just takes time.
Exactly. It’s so much easier to come to people and say, I’ve been doing this for five years and you gain instant credibility that’s different than I started in real estate five months ago, right? Or I started engineering, you know, last year, right? People are going to give you you might not be an even great, whatever you are. Just over time you automatically get credibility. Well, like in the beginning of real estate,
I wasn’t great. No, I didn’t know a lot of things. Yeah, it takes practice. It took some time I had to earn, earn the respect of others.
I Yeah. I’m going to tell you ever since probably, I don’t know, eight 910 years, but now when I say I’ve been doing this 14 years, it’s just like people will blindly follow you into anything because Okay, well, you’ve been here long enough. You survived but you’re still like working and clearly you you got to know what you’re talking about by now.
And I feel like too, like on all the coffee dates. Like here I I am at your aid. And here they are in the trenches. And I think I’ve said this before, but it’s like, they don’t believe that I went through that. Yes, but I did. I know like I went through the disappointment.
And that’s what’s the fun thing about the angle of the podcast, too. When we’re talking about this, I don’t think we’re so far removed from it that we don’t remember what it was like to be new and lost. And
I still have moments where I’m like, feel like, Am I really doing this? Yeah, every situation is so different. And you’re always coming across new situations, and you’re having to adapt. And every now and then something will happen that will just affect me emotionally. Oh, yeah. And I’m like, dang, I haven’t been emotional over something in a couple of years. Right? And it’ll just get me. Yep. So you have to go through the beginning to get to where you want to go? Yeah, the problem is people are trying to rush the process. Yeah. And they’re not enjoying it. And they’re not appreciating it for what it’s offering to them.
I agree, there are things about being new that you have that you won’t have, once you’ve made it, right, those are my air quotes. You’ve got so much more time on your side. So when you’re new, you have the time that your clients need. And sometimes I think that we’re afraid to play up the newness that we have to, especially to new buyers or sellers, we’re afraid that they’re going to think we’re inexperienced and not going to want to work with us. But if you put it to them in the way that you’re saying, I am new, I am eager to learn. I have XYZ resources. My broker is amazing. I’ve got you know, other agents that I partner with that can answer my questions. And on top of all that, I have time for you. I have all the time for you. Yeah, you’re my number one priority.
I used to hide, try to hide my newness, which was hard to do since I looked like I was 15. You know, but people probably still think you’re new. Sometimes they do. But it’s like I tried to when I was hiding from it, I was losing a point I was losing listing appointments, they were never choosing me. And then once I started being like, Hey, I’m young, I’m 21 years old. And this is why I’m going to be better than this other person. Because I don’t I have the time you’re going to be my person, I’m going to dedicate all of my time and energy to you. And then and then I finally started getting some progress and the numbers started working right. But you just have to go through those things and to embrace your current emphasis race, your current position.
So where you are, figure out what what what it is and embrace it, I think I have in my notes to take stock of where you are not just in your business. So it takes be mindful of where you are in your business. But also where are you in your season of life?
Yeah. Are you they have to match?
Are you young and single? You know, got lots of time on your hands. Are you married? Do you have children or pets? Or, uh, you know, older parents that you care for? Like, what is your season of life?
Are you older and retired? Or is this your retirement career? Are you? Are you in real estate wanting to retire from real estate? Right? You’ve been doing it for 30 or 40 years? Right? There’s
a lot of that going on? Yeah, well, for sure. Because the average age of Realtors is 55. Yeah. So I mean, there’s just a natural progressive progression towards retirement or, you know, whatever,
I heard a quote I’m going to share with you I can’t wait, okay? It says to be content doesn’t mean that you that you don’t desire more. I think that’s great. It means that you’re thankful for what you have, while being patient for what’s to come. I love it. It just sums it up. In a nutshell. That’s basically what the episode is about. It is fine, to be content with your numbers and with where you are right now, that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to grow. It just means that you’re thankful for what you do have and you know that with time and effort, that you will reach more goals, if that’s your goal, if that’s
your goal. I love that that was a really good quote. I think we can just end the episode now we can
end it. It’s funny, because there are not I was trying to find a good quote. And there are not a lot of good quotes about embracing, like, just sitting still. Because it’s all about
Yeah. What’s your next goal? What are you going to grow to
make those goals happen?
Yes. It was very success. Yes.
I mean, if you honestly and that was the way back in I don’t remember which one, maybe our mindset episode three. We did some good quotes. And my favorite one is that Maya Angelou and I don’t have it in front of me. So I’m not going to try and butcher it. But it’s talking about success as you being happy with where you are, and what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. That’s all success is and if we can actually beat that into our own mindset, then we’re going to be a lot better off for it.
I wish I could go back to my new self and be like, hey, look around right. This is not going to be here forever. This is not how your business Is this going to be forever? Calm down? Yeah, it’s gonna be okay. Because looking back on it like, I just feel like I wish I would have I didn’t believe that things would get better all the time.
Yes. And I still think I find that seasonally and cyclically, like I am probably just now getting the point where I could say, I know it’s gonna get better if it’s a slow week or a slow month or a slow year, I’ve been in it long enough to know it’s not going to stop. It’s not going to be the end, you know, January, slow. That’s okay. By April, it’s going to be, you know, crazy again. Yeah, I just think it took so much time and the repeating of the cycles and the repeating of the seasons to realize that it’s going to come Yeah, and this is probably the first year when I’ve said, I’m okay, if I’m slow this week, how can that benefit my family? Like, how can that benefit some other part of my life? Like, if I’m not crazy running around doing real estate? What else can I do? And then it’s just a matter of keeping the balance where you don’t lose focus on the real estate completely, right? Because I am very much like, what I’m focused on seems to manifest. So if I’m only thinking about family stuff, or school, volunteering, or whatever it is, then I’m going to get more of that. I gotta, I gotta weave in a little bit of the real estate. But you know, honestly, now I can’t go to school without another parent asking me about real estate. That’s awesome. I mean, that’s how, but when you’re in it long enough, that’s what people will know you for? Yeah, as long as you’re putting it out there in a non salesy way.
And that’s kind of the beauty of real estate in any job similar. It’s just that you get busier, but it gets easier. So like, I’m not having to do a bunch of the hustle and bustle things that I did years one through five, yeah, because now it’s like, my phone rings off the hook with referrals and people being like, When can you come look at my house we want to buy next year. I’ve recently had someone asked me if I had a waitlist, where he’s like, I’m about to, oh, my gosh, that’s so cool. But no, I don’t have a waitlist.
actually use the words. I am taking new clients right now. Because then I thought, oh my god, I’m at a place where I could say I’m not taking new clients or not. Look, ya’ll, I’m not saying that I’m there. But I like that though. Yeah, like there’s got to be and it’s okay for people. It’s awesome that they asked you do you have time for me like do is now are you taking on new clients? No, really think about that. Maybe you have too many on your plate right now. And it’s going to be a disservice to take on more, we’re kind of getting on a tan,
or you can’t meet them until next week. Well, who cares? We’ll wait for you. Yeah, the people who want you will wait for you. So we, when we were talking about this episode, we kind of divided the seasons into a couple of different real estate seasons. Yeah, we divided it into the new agent, right? The established agent, okay.
The on your way out agent. So whatever that means for you retire men or whatever? And then not new but not growing? Okay. And none of these are bad or wrong. No, they’re just where you are. They’re just where you are. And you can move from one to the other, if you so choose. Yeah, for sure. And I think we also talked a little bit about I feel like I was in a class where they were talking about the cycles of business where it’s growth, did you write them down growth plateau, and then decline. But you can be in a growth phase in any one of those seasons that you just mentioned. So even though you may be on your way to retirement, your business may be growing and you don’t want it to, or your business may be at a plateau when you’re new, and you’re trying to figure out how to break into the next level, or your business may be in a decline, even though you have been a busy, you know, at your peak for a while. So I think that there are cycles in business based on your activities, more likely than not that you could change no matter where you are in your season.
And you were not using this episode to blame your production on your season. No, this has a lot of personal accountability involved in so
self awareness. Yes. And some in some self reflection, you know, think about, think about where you are, do you feel a pull to do more I think you and I and how this whole podcast has really started as maybe we don’t want to feel like you have to have more than what you have what you have is okay, and I’m just looking at him. And I look at my numbers every year just like you do. At the end of the year. I’m looking at the numbers, and I’m just starting to realize that I’ve been on a plateau. This will be my fourth year in a row with a very similar numbers, but they’re similar and they’re good for me. Yeah. And that’s okay. I’m not like oh, no. And, you know, I have other things that I’m interested in. I mean, that’s how the podcast was born. So even if your business is at a plateau, but you’re in a place where you’re happy. That is okay. Yeah, I think that’s okay to embrace that. I would agree. I want you to tell me about your season right now.
Okay, um, I feel like I’m coming out of a seat. In 2018, I feel like my season was figuring out life with a child. Yep. And it was still a good year, it was down from the previous year, which was crazy, which was just a crazy year. Okay, um, and then 2019 it was like I was back in my groove. We had our schedules, we figured out what to do. And we’re just kind of on autopilot and 2019 will be my record year so far. Love it best year. So I guess it’s growth. But for 2020 It’s funny, because you would think coming off of like, my best year, I would be like, I don’t know. I’m excited to do it again. Okay to do the same thing. Yeah. I don’t need to do that much. Right. But I felt like, it wasn’t that. I don’t want to say it wasn’t hard, but it feels like stressed me out. Yeah, it was just I just went with the flow. I followed my systems I time managed well, I feel like I could do it again. Yeah. And then it makes me think to like, if we want baby number two at some point in the near future. 2021 might be, there might be another human life in our household, right? So it’s almost like I’m excited to be in this phase of life right now, where me and my family are just in a good play. We know our schedules, we know our routines. Life is pretty easy with where we are as a family. So I just feel energized like I can, I can conquer work, too. I love it. And then when our season changes, kind of taking a step back, and you know, still still working, of course, I mean, I have to but but giving myself some grace. Yeah. Like you can’t, you can’t kill yourself trying to, you know, be everywhere and be everything and, and you can’t compare where your you are right now to somebody else’s. Right. And I had that happen a lot on the coffee dates. Yes. Like a lot of people that met me for coffee, I just want to do your numbers. I just want to do your volume. And I’m like, that’s great. But like, let’s talk about, you know, how are you planning on getting there? What is your phase of life right now? It’s okay, if you need to travel to take care of your dad. It’s okay. Like, right, maybe the answer isn’t? No, it’s just not right now. Well,
I would like to interject here as someone who is not at your level of volume or numbers, and will likely never be. I don’t think that it’s wrong to desire to have more, but you have to know your own limits. Yeah. And I just think that, you know, if you’re willing to learn and grow and do the hard work, then yes, you can do as much as you want to do. And I think I’ve gotten to points where I’m like, Okay, I know, I can do additional X, whatever it is, and I can maybe increase my business. But maybe I don’t want to give up that time.
Well, a lot of people that I met with for coffee, would say I want to do what you’re doing, but I don’t want to quit this other job. Well, that’s just network, or I don’t want to give up this side hustle, or I don’t want to give up, you know, whatever it is. But it’s like, my life is pretty simple. Yeah, there’s not really a lot of fluff. It’s either I’m working Yeah. Or I’m with my friends who are like my, that’s just my sphere.
What was very streamline to Yeah, it’s just not a lot of fluff in there. Yep. I mean, look, I think that’s a this is a great time to talk about this. People do not understand they think I can just achieve and I am right there with them. I in being close to you, and like getting to hear what you do and more and learn more and more about you. This is a perfect example. And it’s the Christmas week, so it’s even better. Oh, gosh, I think this is fair to share. Can I share they’re gonna expose me. We were talking about I brought over some decor to make your house like fall like and I guess we started talking about Christmas decor. And I said, Oh, what do you do? And you said, I don’t have any Christmas decor? And I’m like, I don’t think I understand this. You have ornaments for a tree? And you’re like, No, but now that your daughter is getting older, you feel like maybe you want to have some more festive items in your home and it hit me like a lightning bolt. The reason why you have time to do the things that I can’t is because I am at Hobby Lobby buying all the all the Christmas Yeah, I am at you know, like, and that makes me happy. And that’s a part of my life that I enjoy. You don’t want to give that up. It’s okay that you don’t have decorations for Christmas. But that was like, Oh, it finally made sense. Like y’all don’t realize how many things you’re doing that that others are not that take up time that other people aren’t doing right. So you can be more successful if you want to devote more time to that endeavor. And if you don’t want to devote more time to that endeavor, then maybe you’re okay with your plateau and they’re fine, but I thought that was hilarious. You’re like, I don’t have any like, I can’t this doesn’t compute compute with
me, but it’s like you can’t kick yourself for not doing Being 20 million if you still have a part time job, or AI, you still have some something else that’s taking up your time. Like you have to be totally, you have to have a talk with yourself. Yes. And be like, I am fine with doing 3 million 5,000,010 15 million, whatever your number is because I am making the conscious decision that I don’t want to give up X, Y or Z. Yeah,
I don’t want to give up going to Hobby Lobby, fine. Don’t worry. No worries. I’m not gonna but you know what, the more we do this, the more I feel convicted and that I’m doing the right thing for me. And I hope that’s how everyone else is feeling like that they are hearing that there are different ways to do it. And they can be convicted and whatever is making them happy. Yeah, I think that’s good. Okay. All about I think so too. So I’ll do my season because what I have learned and very interestingly, my children are in grade school now. So we went through babies, we went through diapers, we have two kids, and they are now at school, school hours. So they leave the house at 710. And they are in aftercare, which we usually get them by for it has been very interesting to me. And so this will be our third year of this schedule. What happened was, I got these two hours back from seven to nine that I never had with babies, and that before babies quite honestly, I slept late, right? Like not later than nine, but like I was sleeping until then. Sure. So I got these two hours back in the morning. And that’s the season I’m in where I can get things under control before the day really, like takes off and people are needing things and you have appointments, and I never scheduled appointments before nine, right? And I use those two hours when the kids have gone to school to get things done or to work out. This is the first time I’ve exercised regularly in my life. So for a whole year, I get up every day and I exercise. That’s your season. It’s the season I’m in so my kids are at school. That’s the season. But what comes with that is very difficult summers, because they are home. Yeah, I mean, I try remember you in the trenches of summer. Yeah, we couldn’t start the podcasts until August because I had to wait for them to go back to school. Right? It’s just very difficult. And it’s okay. And I try to low level as the amount of stress I feel about not working hard during the summer, especially being real estate is busy in the summer. So it’s just a weird thing to navigate. But it can be done. And you have to give yourself grace. Right. So that’s kind of don’t want to miss
your kids summer and your kids remembering summer as the time they never saw their mom when they were off to school. Right.
And oh, that brings up a very interesting point. So Sarah Riley also requested Yeah, Episode, right. And hers was a little bit of career versus family. And she mentioned in her request, that it was okay for your kids to see you working. Yeah. And I think that is a really nice and important sentiment. If you are in the season of life where you have children. It’s okay for them to see you working. I don’t take them to every appointment. But I’ve had to take them to a showing I’ve had to take them to an inspection. Like I mean, if you have to you do it, right. Except for that one time with your clients. It’s typically well
received. Yeah, most of the time, most the time. They don’t care if you have to do that.
Yeah, I think it’s fine. So just give yourself grace for whatever season you’re in. But I know that’s where I’m at.
And what I think is interesting, too, is I feel like we became friends a few years ago, probably as you were new into this season. Oh, yeah. So you’re new into having an extra two hours and like, you have a little bit more time and you can get your like creative energy thinking because you have time to do things. Yep. You could have plunged straight into prospecting, more Real Estate joining more groups, handwriting, more letters asking for referrals. Like you could have chosen Yeah, to exponentially grow your business through your real estate business. But you did not want to. No, not really. I mean, you felt like you felt like that’s what you need. You were supposed to do. Yes, but it’s not really what you want. This
is probably a new thing I’m okay with though. Right? The plateau that I’m at is a number that some people never get to. So it’s not an embarrassing place to be. No. And I think I have that, you know, industry nonsense noise that was like, do more, be more Why aren’t you getting to 10 million every year? Well,
it’s funny because I feel like when we the first couple of conversations we ever had, it seemed like you wanted to do for sure but did not want to do like you wanted to pick my brain about what I was doing. But you didn’t really want that for yourself at will. It’s just it wasn’t realistic for me. And you knew that and then I feel like once you came to peace with it, you decided look, I’m going to tune out all the noise and what everybody else says I should be doing and I want to do something more creative. I want to Yeah, work on II course or I want to, yeah, do whatever. Yeah, you know, think that’s
true, though. That’s how that really. And it was an interesting, this is really going on a tangent. It’s it was an interesting point in time for me too, because at the beginning of this year, specifically when we started talking more about feeling a pull to do more, and I’ve talked to other agents who are having the same feeling right now. It, it almost came out, like I didn’t want to go on that regular path. I don’t want to have a team. I don’t want to be a broker. And I felt like, you know, when people start to come up to you in 14 years in the business, and they see you’re doing well, and they respect you, they say, When are you going to be a broker? When are you going to own office? When are you going to have a team? When are you going to have an assistant when you’re like, you know, and you like, but I don’t? That’s doesn’t excite not on my agenda, right? Maybe I don’t want to manage people. And I think that was an interesting thing I’ve come to this year. And so you’re right, it changes. Hey, everybody, guess what? You can change? Yeah, pivot, you can grow, you can decide to have more transactions or have less Yeah. Whatever
works for you to just stay where you are, and make room for something else that you want to do. You can become
a home stager along with your real estate business. Now, you know, I’m not a big proponent of part time agents. Yeah, I do think that real estate requires full time attention. But I think there are ways to add layers to your business. Right? That makes sense. Sure.
And that’s the thing. You really have to evaluate. Does it make sense? Right.
Agree. Okay, so we know our seasons. Yeah. What other what other? Okay, so we talked a little bit about times in life to like, if your season was young, professional, or maybe single have a lot of time. Like, let’s talk about that
a little bit. Looking back when I was new, and I was 22. And you know, we were newlyweds, or I don’t even think we were married the first two years I was in real estate. I was so freakin social. You I was at everything. I was at everything that I could have been invited, and I thrived off and they love it. Like four nights a week I was having dinner or drinks with some group or some brand. Like I was just always like, my husband is in law enforcement works. A lot of nights, we didn’t have a baby. So I would just be like, Hey, who wants to grab dinner tonight. And like, I was just thriving in that. And I can remember, even when I got pregnant, I was like, cut out the cocktails. Your happy hour was less happy. So my happy hours. Were just kind of like smaller. Yeah. And I was kind of grieving because I was realizing, oh, man, like this season of life is changing. And I’m not sure how I feel about it. And then I just, I started getting more dinners instead of happy hours with friends. Yeah, calling different friends like that are in similar seasons that I haven’t seen in a while. And then you know, she was born and it was pretty much like dinner and happy hour with friends was like gone right? For a little while, you know, while we were adjusting. And it definitely wasn’t four nights a week. Yeah. And then it transitioned to Well, I can have lunch with people, like I need to go home in the evenings. But I can go have lunch or brunch with somebody. Yes. So her first year of life, I had a lot of breakfast states. That’s cool. A lot of lunch dates. But it’s just funny how life forces you to make the changes that you need to make. Yes. And I do think it goes back to personal accountability. And that you have to just look at where are you and not say, okay, like, if I would have said, Oh, well, I had a baby this year. So I’m not working at all right? For me personally, that would have been detrimental to my family. Right? Like you. You can’t just drop Yeah, everything because of one life event. Agree. You have to keep things moving in the right direction. And you have to take care of yourself. Yeah. So it’s really, you know, taking inventory of an of where you are, what you’re capable of doing. And are you doing what you’re capable of doing? Well, that’s true, too. Maybe you’re not? Maybe maybe you could be doing Yeah, more. I mean, we all know those people that want to be like, my business is just not good this year. I’m not doing well in this or that and it you know, sometimes you just got to say, Do you think that you had any part in that? Are you right? How are you treating people? Do people know that you’re out there? Interacting? Are you loving people? Are you being present? Yeah. So sometimes it can be a little bit of a hit in the face.
I mean, look, none of us are giving 100% all the time, but you can’t just blame your season in life. Yeah, on your success, or lack of. I think that it makes you more successful honestly, if you lean into what season you’re in Oh, for sure. So I’m at school a lot. Well, great. So I talked to people at school about real estate. And that’s your sphere now. And that’s where you get business from. Yeah, you just got to be out there. I liked what you just said, though. You have to schedule with your season. So just like my mornings got freed up, you lost your nighttime. Yeah, you know, happy hour, but you didn’t lose the social activities. No, you just changed your schedule, right? I think that’s fair.
And I kind of complained about it a little bit. But then I was like,
Oh, this isn’t so bad. Well, you know, that’s alright. You can complain or you can
some adjustment I like I think I grieved it. I think in the day sometimes I grieve it like she’s not that old. I know. She’s She’s almost three. But she sometimes I hear that local having like happy hours and things. I’m like, I used to be invited. I write I don’t even get invited anymore.
Because you’re a mom. I know mom life is hard, though, because it comes with guilt. And I think we have that in our notes too. Because please, people who are not moms, whether by choice or age, or, or whatever the case may be, just know that at least you don’t have to deal
with mom guilt. Mom, guilt is no fun. It’s no fun.
I mean, there are people who I know, like, go through a lot to have children. And so I certainly don’t want to complain. But it’s really weird and tough when you’re like, you know, a professional who’s working full time in a business that can use up all of your time. Yeah, it can, it can use up every bit of it
as much as much as you want to do it’ll take it, it will Oh, it’ll,
it’ll take every single one of your minutes if you give it to it. So if you don’t have the mom guilt right now, count your blessings, say, and go out there and use that time wisely while you can. And if you
do have the mom guilt, I think the only way that I can battle mom guilt is by really evaluating where do I need to be with her? When can I pick her up? How, when I’m with her? Is she getting my attention and my time and like a good part of me and not just what’s left over after I’ve been beat up all day by work?
I think that’s good. You’re You’re good at kind of holding yourself to that. And Lee Brown and her episode talks about, you know, airplane mode, picking your kids up from school, you know, being available for that timeframe, right after school and not scheduling then I think that’s awesome. Yeah. Like, yes, be present. Don’t just be in the room, but still doing the work. Yeah. What’s the point then? Yeah, might as well have left him at the daycare.
And again, not perfect. There are times where I’m like, Hey, I have got to pull out my computer for five minutes to do something and then I’m done. You know,
I think that’s okay. I do feel the guilt the whole time. It’s
out though. Yeah.
I mean, I for real, I’m like, Oh, God, this is taking too long. I have to hurry, hurry. I’ve got to be back with the family. So it is what it is. I think that just you got to know where you are self awareness.
How do you battle like when you get the thoughts of like inadequacy of of I should do more? My numbers suck.
I’m not good at this. How do you get out of the funk? Um, that’s a great question. Because I think some days are better than others. Yeah. So I’m not I know a lot. Like, I’ve never hit 10 million. I’ve gotten really close a lot of might this year I don’t know, but I’ve gotten really close a lot of times, but it’s an it’s an arbitrary number. Yeah,
like, who cares? You do?
I don’t care. Like I’m trying to be like, you actually don’t care. Do you care? I don’t care. I used to care. Yeah, I think I’m getting better at just being like, I have devoted as much time to this as I want. And I want to be there for my kids. Yes, maybe when my children are even like they’re about to be they’re seven and nine, they’re about to be seven and 10. So like they’re there, there’s not that much time left, when they’re even going to have to I’m gonna have to watch them like yeah, there’s just this little tiny window when I have to be available and they want to be around me. So trying to be super mindful of that. Sure. And when that time passes, if I want to sell 10 million Well, I’m not going to stop selling real estate. I tell people that clients all the time when I meet new buyers, and they’re like well I don’t know we’re just getting started like don’t worry I’m not going anywhere. Like you want to buy a house in three years fine just let me know. But maybe then I’ll have a waitlist right? Gonna just never know I don’t know if I’m bad. I don’t know if I’m getting through it. Right. Well, you
know, I just came back from our company’s top of the ladder tree which is the top 30 In our company, which is like golf south area, right? But I am the youngest in the group of core like this is not a shock but not by like a little bit by a lot. Yes.
What is the net? Do you know the next oldest person from you?
I don’t mean you today’s your birthday. I know one year closer to them. Um, I don’t but it’s it’s a noticeable gap. Notice a noticeable gap. Well, there’s like one or two in the middle between me and the uppers. Yeah. But I am fascinated with the older generation of realtors. Okay, why? Okay, so these people are still killing it right? Clearly they’re not on social media. Oh, if they are, it’s like some new agent is managing it and it’s like not good content. It’s just like links to listing right right over like it’s not interactive. It’s they don’t even know they have a Facebook right. They’re not doing any sort of mail outs or like they are just have been doing this for so the train has left the station. Yeah. And but and you know, we all know that the the realtors that have checked out and need to retire because she are not keeping up with how businesses run. These aren’t those people know, okay, these people are like, up to date with what they need to be up to date with, they’re still produced high producing, selling a lot of real estate can negotiate a contract better than anybody can overcome any objection because they’re at this point. 40 years in error is not an objection, they haven’t come to well, and they do it with authority. You’re like, Yeah, I
know, I have such a basis of knowledge. I know the answer.
Right. And it’s like, it’s fascinating in some way out. I was talking to one of them, who does not need to sell another house the rest of her life. Oh, she was like, This is good. She could have retired 10 years ago. And so it’s all just like, this is just land Yap. Like she for our for our non southern brows. Gonna say? They’re gonna land is just extra, just extra. Yeah. But I asked her over drinks. We’re sitting at a pub, and we’re just like having drinks. And I’m like, so why are you doing Ooh, good. I want to hear it. And she said, Well, my best friend in the office, another older lady who was not on the trip. can’t retire. Like she, she has to keep financially, financially. And I’m just not ready to leave her by herself at work. She’s doing it to be with her friends. She’s just doing it to do really read and make money on the side happens to
be killing it in real estate. She’s just doing it to hang out with her friends. She
doesn’t need any of it. She doesn’t. And it’s just cool to learn. Like the motivation behind interesting. Yeah. And that’s also why she like never appear stressed out ever. Because it doesn’t matter. None of it matters is she is just living her life. Wow. Traveling when she wants to travel. She is on top of answering her email when she travels Good for her. Like she just is enjoying it at this point. Do
you think that her business got busier when she hit 10 years ago? And was like, I don’t really have to do this anymore? Probably. It’s like you can’t fend it off. Right? I’ve said that before. Sometimes I’ll be like, Oh, it’d be great. If I had a like a slow whatever month I’ve got a lot going on. And then like you just can’t like it just comes to you. Right? It’s going to someone in my office once told me that it was around year five that you would start getting the referrals. And it was like I guess at that point, you’ve been in it long enough that people think it’s going to stick for you. New agents. Seriously, people think that you’re not going to make it
because so many new agents. Oh, look, another new realtor. Exactly. Another person took three weeks and got their real estate license. Yes,
here we go again, right. Just get through it. If you get to your five, you automatically have credibility. Yeah. And that’s when the referrals start to come in. And she was pretty right. And I will tell you, it grows exponentially so that I’m sure you see this. So every year that you are further in the business, it comes to you yeah, I mean, you have to be available and you have to answer the phone and you have to like you know, handle it, but it’s not going to be nearly as
difficult. There’s no way to shorten the time it takes to get to your five that was part of what we
wanted to accomplish in this episode. Yeah, like it takes five years to get to five years,
right? You know, what are you doing right? In your five years, you can’t just be like complaining and sulking and wishing you were wishing it was easier and having your venting session with your friends every single day about how crappy the market is or people are and like we all know those people and so you’re one through five. If you do what you’re supposed to be doing us and you make it to your five it only gets easier only gets easier. I said the other day your eight is great in writing right?
It is great. Well I’m telling you if you do it you’re supposed to do yes, every year beyond five is easier and easier.
There was another agent that I was talking to recently that even though she’s been in the business for a full year, we were like well that doesn’t count because she because you didn’t do what you were supposed to your first year you just start over again. Yeah, and she brought that up not me she said like I know I didn’t do what I know I could do I know that I was like not I didn’t discipline myself. I didn’t give myself structure I didn’t have an order I didn’t organize my database. I was like your your clock to five years doesn’t start ticking until you at least have 100 people. Yeah, you gotta be on the pavement for five years, you got to at least have a database to be considered started.
I think that’s fair. That’s hilarious. And we won’t
spend too much time on the fees of new because we’re on episode 17. We just did what to do when you’re new. And it really gets to see Yeah, we don’t we don’t need to be too redundant about that. I think that’s fine. But you do have to hold yourself accountable. Right. So that way you can get to year five and reap the benefits of this industry. Yeah,
for sure. I think when we we have the mom life season down because that’s what we’re in. And they were in each part of mom life is so different because babies I mean, like, that’s tough. I remember crying on the phone, my sister drove over to like, help with the baby because I’m like, I literally can’t make a phone call and I have to make this phone call or we’re not gonna pay our mortgage. Yeah. So like, I need help help me. I’m drowning. Me and the baby’s room was next to my office, and I literally couldn’t talk on the phone. And it was so hot. Those days are so hard, but they’re so short.
Yeah, they are short. Now that it’s over. I’m like, that was fast. I was
super fast. And now it’s just totally different. Because my kids know we’ve talked about this before. Mom’s on a work call. I can do it in the car. Yeah, they know Be quiet. Occasionally. There’s an outburst but it’s pretty well and you know, in check, and it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Sometimes they like I think they’re listening like, Hmm,
maybe they’ll learn a little bit about like negotiations. Funny. I was thinking this is total tangent. But I was like thinking about our podcast and how it’s going to be there. Like forever. Oh, my gosh, yeah. Even when exciting. Yeah. One day one of our children might be in real estate and like this is going to be out there universe somewhere. That’s right. Isn’t that cool?
I know. It’s pretty fun.
I love that. Okay,
I’ve I’ve reached all of my notes, I think,
um, let’s see. Um, I wrote down that to get me out of a funk. Oh, yes. Let’s hear it. I have to be alone. Oh, driving over the bridge. Yeah. At the drive over the bridge. Be alone? I have to find a way to tune out the noise. Yes. Of what? And I’ll be honest with you. I’m still struggling with Instagram. Oh, you are? I’m just feeling like I’m supposed to always have like something good to say. And important. And I don’t sometimes I just want to post a picture of my dog and put a heart with like no word about it. Well, you’re allowed to do that. It’s your arms. I know. And you’re putting and I’m like, but I’m supposed to be good at Instagram. Wow, I don’t I don’t know. Oh, my God, my squares aren’t that pretty? They don’t have a will look, it’s okay. No, they don’t have a theme or don’t have to be pretty. But anyway, sometimes I just have to be like, Okay, I need to not listen to what everybody is saying. You know, we just came out of goal setting for 2020. Yeah, that was hard and just analyzing, like, what do I want, right? Who cares what everybody else wants, whatever. And the only way I can do that is to be alone. Okay. I mean, that’s good. as social as I am. I do have to have my alone time to like, decompress and reflect and be like, are you good? Are you okay? Yes. Okay, good. The
podcast is asking. All right, you go.
I’m good. Okay. All good here. And then the last thing I wrote down because I know we were going to talk about we talked about how in seasons of life, you cannot compare season to season. Yes. Like, you cannot compare if you’re like a new mom cannot compare yourself to the new realtor that you know, doesn’t have kids or the realtor that has been doing this 20 years like, yeah, it’s different. But someone said that imitation isn’t always flattering. Oh, yeah, I saw this recently. Yeah, it’s robbing the world of what you have to offer. It was Blake. Oh, it was Blake I saw it. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, it’s like you. Yeah, be you and what you are in your season, maybe find someone else in a similar season? That’s what I think so that you can Yeah, have that camaraderie there. Because what, and that is a way of helping that person in the world. Yeah, in the same season, instead of trying to be something you’re not at the wrong time.
Also can’t compare yourself to your own previous season. Oh my gosh, that’s the hard part. You know, what you could do or what you did do or what you can do and you’re not taking into account that your season in life is different. Yeah. So you have to really be mindful that you can’t expect the same results from yourself if you’re in a different, more challenging season.
And in conclusion, it’s the holiday season is the holiday season. It can be demanding oh my gosh, I hope you guys all made it
I hope you have your Christmas presents bought I know that there’s going to be several people out there wrapping presents. Listen, I
Well, let me tell you who else might be wrapping their presence while they’re listening. You this girl right here. I don’t know that I’ve ever made it to Christmas Eve with everything wrapped.
Oh my gosh. Yeah,
that’s right. It’s it’s a lot. It’s stressful, but it’s okay. But embrace it.
This is a holiday season. You’re not supposed to be, you know, killing it in every other area of life.
No. And remember on Christmas Day when everyone in the world leaves you alone to be with your family. You can treat any day like that. If you need a day off, pretend like it’s Christmas, but that boat on airplane mode. That’s right. Say I can’t do it today. And you don’t have to because that’s your season.
Yeah, I like it. I love it. Okay, our toast today.
Oh, right. Do you need to read it? Yeah, I
have it right here. Oh, you do? Okay. It’s perfect for this episode. It is yes. It was so good. So good. So Casey gray. Yep. From California wants us to toast to Nikki Pardini. Okay, who was a transaction coordinator, but has finally gone out on her own and is doing amazing as a realtor. I love it. She needs to not be so hard on herself because it’s her first year. Yeah, Nikki so easy. Okay, so see, celebrate your wins and right. Stay motivated and excited. Oh, yeah. You’re gonna make it to your five for sure. So, I love it. We are going to toast to Nikki. Let’s do thanks to Casey.
Oh, there you go. Nikki. Cheers. Cheers. All right, Episode 20.
All done. We did it. Podcast one we
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your wins. See you next week. This is the good lie.