201: Making Choices and Setting Boundaries

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Sparked by a listener request for advice we are tackling the often asked question: Can you do it ALL? We bet you can guess our answer to that one. We have talked about boundaries many times, but in this episode we are going to deep dive on making choices and what that means for your business and your LIFE. Real Estate careers are full of expectations, supposed to’s and the ever elusive “flexible schedule”. How exactly do we make important scheduling decisions and what do you do when you reach the limit of what you can reasonably handle? This chat should help you get your mindset right in a career that can lead you on a quick trip to burnout. How many days are you working? When do you take time off? What happens when you can’t serve every potential client that reaches out? How do you schedule for work AND for life? It’s time for a real estate reality check!

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The following is a rough transcript provided by Otter.ai.

Hi, my name is Alyssa Jenkins and I have trouble saying no. You’re here and it’s 10 o’clock.

non negotiable. How’d you show up? Oh, thank God, thank God. I’m like, Why should I even say I would do this listing?

It’s gonna be a growth experience for you. And then I’m going to take a referral fee. So Right. Welcome to Real Estate. Where do you find these platforms? Almost like phone duty. Hi, y’all. Welcome to hustle humbly. It’s Alyssa and Katie. And we are two top producing realtors in the Baton Rouge market.

We work for two different companies where we should be competitors. But we have chosen community over competition.

The goal of our podcasts is to encourage you to find your own way in business to stop comparing yourself and start embracing your strengths. Hi, Alyssa. Hey, Katie.

I feel like I’m like, okay, all right, go now.

We’re good. We’re good.

Hi, it’s Episode Two a 101. Why are you laughing?

Because today’s episode is on making choices.

Right. And you made bad choices yesterday are good as

well. Also, we’re rushing because I made another choice. To go to school. For Teacher Appreciation Week. Yeah, I’m going to do lunch duty for 40 minutes.

Right. So we have a timer set right now. Yes. And I’ll come back to the this is perfect.

This is one of those episodes where it’s podcast therapy for Alyssa

well. And life is always giving you choices to make

it is. And I have trouble. Hi, my name is Alyssa Jenkins. I have trouble saying no. To fundings to fun things only was

in your notes. Because you could say no all day to work big. But fun. Things are like I’ll be there. There. I’ll be right there. But that’s actually a really good lesson because there are people listening who make choices that are always the Yes to the work thing. Right. And at the expense of the fun or the personal or the life thing. Right? Right. So you’re like party? I’m there. Yes, sir. Thank you for inviting I’ll be right over. That sounds like like a dream.

You need to see a house in five minutes hard. No,

I mean, can’t come. This is terrible. That’s actually you should be really proud. There gonna be a lot of people listening. You’re like, wow, like, even me. I like that’s, that’s a pretty impressive because you’re living your life right now. And I worry of your life, really.

I’m making it sound like I don’t work. I work very hard. Okay. I just like to play very hard. So it’s Bayless. And in all fairness, I get this from my dad. Oh, really? I do. It runs in the family. It’s genetic. What it is not my fault. If he is not working, he is duck hunting, or he is skiing, or he is at the movies or he is with his friends. Like there is no

there’s either a fun activity or work activity or he’s sleeping. I actually think genetic, that’s fine. It’s in your nature, like some people need to like veg out on the couch. Like not spend every waking moment on a work or fun task. Right. Okay. So we’re going to kind of revisit setting boundaries a little bit because making choices and setting boundaries are kind of hand in hand. I would like to start by saying on the top, you can’t do it all you cannot do it all. Like that’s the hard reality here. You You literally cannot do at all. I cannot do it all and that’s okay. Okay, you can’t avoid making the choices. Right? Right. Because you can’t do it all. And if you commit to doing it all, you’re gonna find yourself in a really bad place. Yeah, it’s called burnout. Correct? Right. Okay, yeah, um, the boundary episodes, if you go to hustle humbly podcast.com/boundaries You can get a full list because we love to talk about this topic. Most importantly, Episode Five is the original boundaries and self care, which was requested early on by someone we know locally. Yes, an agent. And then episode 20 is to embrace your season. You even do time management with Anna and 22. And then there’s a few others, but again, hustle only podcast.com/boundaries. And it

was perfect because we received an email and we get emails like this pretty often very often. And so it was a good reminder that maybe we need to revisit talking about boundaries and me coming out of April, where I was out of town at the beach a good bit more than one making fun choice and making fun choices. And I did have to kind of pay for it a little bit, you know, in between, but it was fine. Yeah, I don’t think I would change it either. Okay, good, man. Maybe I would have made the time between the two trips

a little longer. Okay. You didn’t have enough reentry time. Yeah. But I didn’t choose those dates. Correct. And in all fairness, that happens to a lot of people. Yeah, I got to attend a wedding or it’s things you didn’t pick the date. And it’s

just a season, it was just a month of right, you know, figure making it work. But anyways, we got a message that said, they have been experiencing more buyers lately, right. And the buyers need to look on the weekend. Right. And it’s very hard on the weekends, because kids are in sports, and you have family things going on. And you have trips plan, right. And they were saying that they were having trouble because they had to hire someone to show these buyers. Right.

And, and the other part of it was they had already scheduled to take out buyers. So it wasn’t just that they had fun stuff. They had work filling the time as well. So there were no, there’s no room for a new buyer to show up and be like, I’m from out of town I need to go right now.

I will say, I do think this is the time when some solo agents feel like they need to start a team. Yeah. But what I have learned as a solo agent who does a lot of volume, that the seasons are very quick. Yeah, like I do have weekends, where some weekends are just really hard. Yeah. But then the next weekend is crickets. And I’m just so thankful I didn’t rush out to hire this big team. Right? Because I had a crazy weekend. And you’re

you’re then you’re taking on a whole different responsibility of keeping these people busy. Right, right. So it is tricky. And we’ve talked about this many times before. In the season, that you’re busy, be busy and in the season and it’s slow. You actually have to maybe take two or three days off a week or schedule a vacation or remember that you better recharge. We’re recharging in a in our career. More cyclically, right? Yes. Like, yeah, it’s a busy time. It’s a slow time. It’s a busy week. It’s a slower week. Like you can’t just say, Oh, I have to have two days off every week. Yeah, but I think you need one. But what if you couldn’t that week? Well, maybe next week, you take two.

And you know, full transparency. We used to do the podcast every Tuesday. Now this year, it’s every Tuesday and Thursday. Yeah. And I no longer take a full day off during the week. Yeah, I don’t. But my weekends, I’m in a season where my weekends really haven’t been that busy was showing. Yeah. So I don’t feel the need to take off. Right. You’re getting more of your weekend. And so the whole point is that I have adjusted per my season. Yeah. Now, if I was having very busy weekends and doing the podcast, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I would probably look into taking off on Wednesdays. Yeah. But I just haven’t had to implement that. Because my weekends lately have been pretty available. Right? I’m not doing open houses right now. So it’s just been, it’s just been fine. But right. But sometimes people say, Oh, well, I listened to Episode Nine. I’m just making up numbers. And you said that you always take a day off during the week, right? But it’s like, yes, in 2019, when we recorded episode nine, I was in a season where I had to do that. Yeah. And now 200 episodes later, I’m in a season where my weekends are more free. And I’m very busy in the week, right? So it’s okay, like we have to adjust.

But I’ve been like fluid, the buyer behavior has changed since COVID, 100%. They go during the week more often? Yes. I mean, if this were five years ago, you’d probably still have that problem where you’re on the weekends working a lot more. I I wanted to also mention that I think if you signed up for real estate, because you thought it was a flexible career, you’re correct in some ways. But you also have to remember that means you cannot get attached to what your week is supposed to look like. Right? Like you are going to have to be a little bit more flexible in how you picture your days off. Maybe it’s Tuesday, maybe it’s Sunday, maybe it’s next week, it’s totally different. I think the problem is that people can get really caught up in what it’s supposed to look like, just like you’re saying, like, oh, well, I have to take Tuesday off or I have to take Saturday off. So maybe you get Saturday or Sunday off. Maybe you don’t. But if you work Saturday and Sunday, this week, maybe you better make sure you take a week day off next week. I think the problem is that we just reset every Monday and we’re like hardcore work Monday through Friday, then all of a sudden you’re working on the weekend. And the next thing you know, it’s, you know, two months later and you’ve worked every single day for two months.

I recently served on a panel and I was brought back to the reality that sometimes agents will say things that maybe aren’t I don’t want to say they’re not true. But example. Okay. Let’s say I was here on this podcast and said, Listen, every Monday through Friday from nine to 11 So the big topic on this panel was time blocking. Oh, okay. I think time blocking can work to an extent Sure. I block off Tuesdays and Thursdays for the podcast. Right? Okay. Sometimes it works. Most of the time it works. Sometimes I have to go work lunch, or go to a closing midday. Yeah, it just depends. But I do try my best to not schedule things on those days. Well, this one particular person was like, yes, every Monday, from nine to 11. I make calls every Monday. And I’m and then I see all these people writing, writing, writing down and they virtually scribbling Oh, my Monday is Monday, nine to 11. He’s like, it’s non negotiable. That’s just what I do. And in my brain, I’m going it’s Monday now. You’re here and it’s 10 o’clock.

non negotiable? How would you show up?

Right? How are you on this panel? If it’s Monday at 10 o’clock, right, so you don’t do it. So you do it every single Monday, because you’re here on this panel right now. And I don’t know if I’m the only person that was thinking that you might have been, but I thought it was a good point that when we listen to motivational people, coaches, your mentor whoever podcasts, right, I hear a lot of very definite statement. Yeah, it’s not that absolute. No, like, every Friday, I write 20 letters every Thursday, every Wednesday. You know, every Monday is marketing Monday. Well, that’s great. And I think it’s good to have some structure. But you have to understand that it’s not perfect. And when you think it’s going to be perfect. And then you do miss a Monday, what happens is, you get very down on yourself, you think, well, I missed a Monday. I’m not good at this. I’ll just give up. When the reality is if you pivot and say, Well, I didn’t get to send out my Monday marketing. Maybe I will do it tomorrow. Yeah. So I just wanted to be here to remind everybody that Be careful of absolutes. Yeah, for sure. definites, hardcore non negotiables. Right. And don’t give yourself those right, not just I don’t give myself listen to a guru. Don’t give it to yourself. Don’t give yourself the suppose dues.

Do you think there are any societal gender type issues at play there? Because I feel like it’s not just male or female. But like, if it’s if your parents with children at home, I feel like we get a lot more of those messages from the parent that isn’t in charge of the school calls and says the kid

is sick. Yes. Right. And we see that in our email. I always think that to that email that we got where they were like, Yes, I homeschool my children, I’m in real estate. I’ve been in real estate two years, I have a passion to keep my kids home, I really want to be at the level that Alyssa and Katie are at what do I need to do? And me and you the first thing we did was looked at each other and said, We would never be able to do this volume. With kids at home. Yeah, we’re in different seasons. We send both of our kids to school every day, we made different choices. I

made different choices.

And I admire the ones that can stay home, you know, I can’t stay home. I’m not made for it. But I it’s like, if I was I can’t do that volume.

No, you would have to make choices, you would have to give away some business, you would have to not prospect as much you would have to there, there would be a choice to be made there.

And this message is very hard for me to give myself because I want my cake and I want to eat it. Oh, I do it. I do want it all and I’m very hard headed. And I have moments when I tried to make it all work. Yeah. And sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. Right. And I have a pretty big party when I have to say no to something I didn’t want to say no to

Yeah. And I think that that’s what happened. And in the message the messages we get like, well, I want to do it but I want both I want to grow my business or I want to take all the leads or I want to you know work with all the buyers but I also want to take my kids to three different after school activities well,

and that is something I have always really admired about you and your kids are older than mine. So I’m kind of setting you on this pedestal as like, oh Haiti can do it. So can I right but we

okay so I’ll call you out of my my parental philosophies whether you want to take him or leave him that’s up to you, but that works for me. Yeah, I don’t we’re we’re intentionally under scheduled. I love that. Okay. It’s very intentional. You get one after school activity at a time. My kids play outside after school. They go play with the neighbors on the weekend. There is a little bit more boredom over here probably more screen time than I’d like. But at the same time, they’re outside a lot more than I see other children. Yeah. So we just because I, me, I had these kids, this is my life. I don’t want to cart them around Monday through Friday to an after school activity. I don’t want our life to be on the road all the time. I don’t think they need to an after school activities every year to make them

successful. Right?

I don’t think that’s important. So that’s my values. That’s what I’m so we under schedule. And the more I under schedule, the more happy I am with that decision. So when COVID happened, and we were in quarantine, yes, that was the end of everything. But it wasn’t as drastic for me, I felt like as for some people, so when that phase was over, whether it was a year later, two years later, or wherever you were at in that process, and people started to add things back in, they just sort of flipped the switch and added it all back in. And you heard a lot of people talking about, well don’t add it all back in add the things you want. See how different it was, look at all this family time you had blah, blah, blah. I just went back to how I was before but that was habitually under schedule. Yeah, one thing at a time. I mean, it was pick your sport. So I directivity you and you have to have some whitespace. In life, you have to have boredom breeds creativity like us, we need space to reset also, because if you’re running so hard, especially in real estate, if you’re working seven days a week, or if you’re working in, and when I say working seven days a week, I mean, you did some work every day of that week, right? You didn’t work eight hours a day, seven days a week. If you’re doing that, you have to definitely stop that if I’m doing showings on a Tuesday. And I know that my weekend is booked to maybe in the afternoon on Tuesday, I take a nap. Yeah. But you have to leave whites. Wait, didn’t they say that in the panel?

Well, one person said that if you have whitespace, on your calendar, you’re dying. And I would argue the exam I did. I immediately took the microphone and said I love whitespace Yeah, you know, and I’m here as a solo successful agent to let you know, I have whitespace on my calendar, and I have a thriving business, right? I’m not dying. I’m actually well rested and very energized. Right, but it’s a personality thing. I do think for the agent that said that. If he has whitespace he is immediately in

a funk. But he said his business was done. Right. And I don’t believe that to be an accurate statement. And then

Okay, so there was a girl I served with on the panel who said something so amazing. So we were getting a lot of questions about what business books do you read? And you know, what are you doing to better yourself when you’re at home? And she took the mic and said, Listen, do you ever just not? Can you ever just sit in the quiet, right? She said for lent a few years ago, she gave up her first drive in the car was to just be in silence. She gave up music making she said usually that was my time to jump on some phone calls to clear out or just listen to whatever podcast you know. But she said I started that my first drive in the car, which is usually from school to my office, which is about like, you know, 20 minutes is in silent. Yeah. And she said it was very hard for me at first. But I did that two years ago for Lent. And I never went back right first drive is still in silence. She said without boredom, silence. You never invite things that just come to your mind. Yes, writings that you just think about or remember, because you always have something turned on. So maybe you need to turn us off for a minute. Right? And just sit back. So you come back later after some reflection, quiet time. But she also made a very good point that if you’re always listening, but never processing, right, you’re not changing anything.

It’s just like it goes in one ear out the other Right? Like you’re just so much information is constantly coming in. I find I go in phases to like, maybe I don’t want to listen to any podcasts this week. But next week, it’s not that I hate them. I’m never gonna go back to them. I think so many people just live their life in absolutes.

Yes. Oh, well, podcast podcast, I’m

not gonna listen to podcasts, or I need to be in silence. This many minutes of every day. I just every day is different. Yeah, everything that’s going on in your life is different every day. While speaking back

to the message we got about having so many buyers. I also want to say when I have a lot of buyers at one time, I get extra strict on vetting them. For example, I had a past client call me and say hey, can we go look at this house? I did not know she was in the market for a new house. So I was like, oh, okay, she’s back. Yay, I like her. She said yeah, we’re just kind of outgrow We got our house and this new house was a good bit pricier than the one I sold her. So it was near my house. And I knew she was pre approved, like prior, right. And so we just ran by this vacant house to see it. And I wanted to kind of talk to her and catch up and see, tell me, what’s your plan? And we saw the house, I said, well, listen, interest rates have changed a lot. Since you bought your last house, I really think you need to chat with the lender and make sure you feel comfortable with the numbers. And she was like, Oh, absolutely. I’m actually off on Friday, and plan to do that. I was like, great, wonderful. Well, then she texted me over the weekend and said, Hey, I really want to go back and bring my mom and you know, I said, Okay, no problem. How did it go? You felt comfortable with the numbers? Well, I ended up not going on Friday, I said, Well, look, before we go back for a second showing, we really need to make sure that you feel comfortable with the numbers. Otherwise, this is all for naught. And she said, That is such a great point, I will definitely do that. And then I’ll let you know. And we can go back for a second showing. But it took me being the authority, right? The professional right to say, we this is this is non negotiable, right? We have to do this, we you know, before we keep running over there, and I take off time, and she could only go when she got off of work, which is when I’m home with my kids. And so before I run out, I need to make sure you’re serious, you’re qualified, you’re on a time crunch. Whenever I’m super busy and have a lot going on with buyers. I’m also checking the properties. Yeah, I’m doing a lot of research on the properties before we go see them. I’m checking the disclosures, I’m talking to the agents, is there anything I need to know how long has it been on the market? Is there a reason for that? And you may be able to eliminate two or three houses just from doing a little bit of work ahead of time. Right? Right. So if you are finding yourself super busy, I would you know, suggest really vetting your buyers and really vetting your properties. The last thing I do when I’m very buyer heavy, is I always try to be there for like the first showing. If I’m very busy, and they’re looking a lot, I may ask a new agent in my office, if they would mind popping into show a house for me. Yeah. And then I try not to do it twice in a row though to the same buyer. Right. So if that if I had to get help one time, the next time, I definitely want to be there. Right. So that way they don’t feel and I let them know, Hey, this is a new agent in my office. I can’t get there. I know you really want to see this house. Right? She will show you and then I’ll see. Let me know how it goes. And it never goes like you know, right? I haven’t ever had the be like this is the one. Oh, you haven’t? Haven’t? Okay, I guess it could certainly happen. It’s not

a high percentage of your showings that you’re having to get someone else to do anyway. No.

And I usually save that for the ones that I know are going to be a dud. Like I know, but you want to see it. You want to see it. Even though you have told me this house does not have what you want, but you’re not letting it go. And you’re I have expressed my thoughts because I still want to see it right? I may send someone else to open that door. Okay. And then they’re like, Oh, you were right. I’m like, okay, okay. But if I know it’s like a hot one that they’re probably going to want to jump on. You try to be I need to be there.

Right? Okay, what about I know you’ve done this before? What if in the initial lead of that buyer, they say, Well, I’m looking 45 minutes away from you, or I’m, I’m only going to look on the weekends, and it’s also far away or, like, tell us what you do then from the initial like, they show up? And you’re like, Yeah,

I’m very honest, upfront, and I say, Listen, this is where I live, where you are looking is 45 minutes to an hour from me, I have an agent that works, that area knows that area way better than I do knows the schools knows the flood zones, like I would be going in blind, it would be best if I referred you and they’re usually like, Okay, thank you,

I’ve had to say how you thank you so much for like giving me someone and you. But that’s why you need those agents in your back pocket. They don’t need to be on your team. They don’t to be your partner. They don’t even have to be in your office. But you need to have two or three other agents that are like, oh, yeah, I would love to help your clients that you know, we’re gonna do a good job. Yeah. And then you would do a 25% referral fee Sure, some money is better than no money, all that gas money you saved all the time. Right now we’re fixing the biggest value to our time. 100% And the truth of the matter is you can’t sell all the houses. Sometimes I would get down on myself like I would drive down the street now it’d be like an area like to work and I’m see a listing sign. Maybe it’s some like a house. I knew the person who lived there and be like,

Oh, God, I’m Austin.

And then one day I was like, even when my highest goal was like to sell 50 houses in a year, which I never even got to I think it was in the 40s at the max that’s great. That’s great, but I’m like 1000 houses sell in our market every year. I I cannot sell all the houses. I just can’t. So hey, Alyssa PKT. What do we mention almost every episode, email template, you’re right, we sure do. And after every time we mentioned an email template, do you know what we get

emails asking if I can have copies of the email template, send me a copy

of that template. I would like that. That sounds great. And you know what the good news is, you can get all of our email templates from our course, email templates, one on one, tell the people about it, our

course has all of the email templates you would need to send to your buyers and your sellers and your clients that are buying and selling at the same time. Exactly. To get through every step of the transaction and giving them information that they need for where they are in the transaction. It’s great, because you never forget to tell them something. Yeah. So we’ve already done all the work for you. Yeah, we wrote them, and you can personalize them. Yes. And just feel organized, knowing that you have all the information where it needs to be.

And if you purchase email templates, 101, you do get lifetime access. So occasionally, we like to go in and make updates based on the market or if we find a new best practice. So we put that right into the template and you get that updated straightaway. It just

goes straight to your core. Yes.

It’s already there. It’s just already on there. You don’t have to worry about it will email it will say updated.

That’s great. Where can they find these email templates? You

can find the email templates at email templates with an S one Oh, one.com

email templates. One Oh, one.com. Yes. Head over for reviews and all of the specifics. Wonderful. Okay, enjoy. Another thing that the girl I served, as on the panel said, and I’ve heard her say this before, so it’s something I also implemented, I got it from her is that when a buyer says, Hey, can we go see this house? Instead of saying, Sure, what’s your schedule? She gives them four time zones for that’s a lot of options. And they’re all during lunch breaks, business hours, she does not give. And then if they’re like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She’s like, Well, I think we like she kind of pushes them outside of their comfort zone. And she leave and say, Look, if if you’re trying to buy a house, we may have to sneak out of work for a minute to get over there to look at it. But she said when she gives that many options, they pick what’s very rare that they don’t pick one, right? They usually say, Oh, this one works best.

That’s a great tip. Like that is the difference. If you offer after five and weekend showings, then they’ll pick that. If you say, Hey, I’m available before for tomorrow, which is a Tuesday, then they’ll pick that like, right? That you’re you’re

a dentist? You said hey, I really need to get my teeth cleaned. Can I come at 7pm? What would they say? office was closed? Yeah, we I’m sorry. We don’t do that. When we clean. When do people get their teeth cleaned? Right? Or go to the doctor? Right? When do these things? Yeah, they take off a word right? Or they just sneak out. And it’s way easier now that the work industry has changed right and become so much more flexible. Right? And how long does it take to look at a house? 30 minutes at most? Right? I know, I know. It’s really just about making sure your delivery is good. And that you are setting the expectations and the boundaries for your clients that you are sending the buyer rules from the email templates. My favorite thing in the email templates is my business hours are Monday through Friday eight to four and a few others by appointment I appointment. But otherwise, this is it.

You know, we work. The other thing that came up in that message that I think you mentioned was the buyer buyer popped up while they were already scheduled right new buyer coming from out of town only until this weekend. I also then you have to be kind of like you can tell the buyer on the phone. If they seem obviously they want to schedule with you. Hey, I am already booked up this weekend. Or when are you actually looking to move? Can we do it the next time you’re in town? Sometimes these people are like, Oh, I’m not buying for six months? Yeah, I’m not buying for a year and they made it sound so urgent, but it really isn’t urgent. Yes, they are only in town that weekend. But it’s not time to shop. So you can say, look, I can I’ve already booked but I can serve you later. Or I can get a new agent to go meet you, you know, right? And do this one showing but if you’re not buying in the next 30 days,

I had a lady call me and say that she was referred to me by a past client, okay. She wanted to buy a home for so that when her son comes to LSU he can live in it. Okay, I was like great. And then she said I’m actually going to be in town this weekend for a concert. And I was gonna see if we could go look at some of these subdivisions. And I was like, Sure. Okay, so tell me about your timeframe. When is your son coming to call? It was like, not this year, but the year following. And I said, Oh, well, are you trying to buy it early and use it as investment property? No, I’m just trying to learn the areas right now.

Take that car and drive one around.

I said, Well, here’s what we’re going to do. I am going to make a list for you. And I’m going to send you to the top five subdivisions that people buy in for their LSU students. If it has a coat a gate, I’m going to give you the code, you can feel free to drive around, walk through, check out the club houses that are always open, whatever you need to do. Yeah. And you can just drive around because I really, I think it’s too early to make appointments and ask people to leave their homes. Yeah. So that we can come in if we’re not looking to buy right now. And she was like, That would be wonderful. Right? Thank you so much. You didn’t have to work that weekend. No, I spent 20 minutes sending her an email with information about the area, right. And she was so appreciative. And then after she drove around with her girlfriend, she sent me an email back explaining which subdivisions she liked and which ones she would not want to buy in. And I’m like, great. Now, when we start looking, I won’t even have to show you those subdivisions. Right. We’ve eliminated some work. Yeah, but I think agents are so nervous. They’re afraid to lead. Yeah, I don’t want to lose the lead.

I don’t want to lose this lead, I’ll do whatever they want. Because I don’t get that many leads, and I need to keep them. Or maybe you get too many leads whatever the case is, they’re like, I need them all. Yes, you can’t, you can’t take them all. No, you’re gonna have to make a choice. I also wanted to talk quickly about when you meet a client, a potential client, and their behavior is not so good. And then you’re like, well, I need to do them all and you didn’t make a choice. And then later you come to regret it. You know, those hard deals?

Are you talking to me right now about my transaction?

I mean, I wasn’t. But I was picturing somewhere. I was picturing that listing appointment I went on. That was a postcard lead. And I’m like, well, the postcard worked. I have to take this lead. It’s very I want to work when I get there. And the seller was not nice. And very pushy about not wanting to pay the commission, and wanting to negotiate it, which whatever. And I had to convince them to work with me. And then the whole time, it was miserable. And I’m like, I know, I should have seen the signs like these were red flags. Yeah. And then I had to deal with when you have a bad client, whether you’re busy or not, it can really suck a lot of your time. Yes, because they need to talk to you. And then you slip in time after that chat stressing about it. And it kind of makes it unpleasant. So I think that looking at the red flags in the beginning and being like, I don’t think this is a fit for me, because you’re leaving space for a better client to come into your life. Right, right. Yes. So we don’t believe that. Yeah. I don’t really know I don’t the answer other than you can’t a mindset thing you cannot be. You cannot be afraid to let business go.

If someone is rude to you, if it’s out of your area, if this schedules never work because of their work schedule, if they’re a plant worker, and can only look at houses after 7pm. It’s not going to work if that’s not going to work for your schedule. Yeah, knowing what your boundaries are. Is the only way to filter. But if you have no boundaries,

then everyone gets to play. Yes, everyone is a yes. Some people have to be a no,

I actually had a really good friend of mine. Reach out to me to buy. And it’s been this was last year. And I was so excited to work with her, only to realize the schedule was very hard because she was a teacher. Oh yeah. And she worked after care. And it was like 530 or later or 530 or later. And I was feeling like I was disappointing her because every other time I was just having trouble. And I was having to send someone else and I hated to do it because she was such a close personal friend. And then I found myself not taking my own advice, which is always when I’m thinking something just talk I just need to talk about them. You know, like it’s my seller mad is my seller mad, I don’t know, pick up the phone and call them and say, Hey, I just wanted to check in, right? Like, you just need to do that. So I called her and I said, Hey, I have been feeling bad that I am not as available as I would like to be. I know your work schedule is way more strict because you’re a teacher, but I’m also like in the trenches of having a very little child right and I’m just trying to see is there anything I can do better? Are you okay that I’m sending some When else are you upset about it? And she was like, No, I’m not upset about it. I feel bad because I have to go because I have to go at this time. But I’ve been thinking that, because I want to buy so close to school, I do have an off hour. Oh, and she was like, sometimes that’s when I catch up on grades or something. But if it’s a house, I really like I could I could run over during my off hour between two and three. And I was like, I think that would be super helpful, if not every time. But if we could incorporate that time slot when you know, it’s a house you really like yeah, that would be great. After that, that was the only time we looked perfect. And I even checked with her and was like, Are you sure you’re good? She was like, Yeah, I’m good. I’m good today. I’m caught up. I was like, Okay, great. I’ll see you there. And it just worked out. I never had to send anybody else. I love it. But it took having that discussion and being honest and reminding them hey, I’m a person, right? I’m a mom. Yeah, I have things to write. I can’t do it every time. What can we do? Is there something and there was right? So I just say don’t man, don’t be afraid to have that conversation. I’m

not a robot. I’m not a robot. Yeah, like we have to talk. Yeah, I have a story. I just thought of what we were talking about letting go the red flag people, because I still don’t I’m not great at this. I had a past client who was a referral from a friend. I helped her buy a house. She was so high maintenance high. I mean, like the highest highest meant high maintenance. She was buying new construction. It was still like so difficult. So many questions. So many needs specific needs so many like things she’s complaining about. So she loved me that like I navigated it. She loved me. We you know, she lived there. She’d been there three years, she’s ready to move away. And she calls to sell her house and I’m like, I feel like no one’s gonna take care of her and be able to handle her as well as I could because she has a handle. So I go we walk through her house. I’m like, This doesn’t even look like a three year old house anymore. I’m like, you have to do all this laundry list of things. I’m like, she’s like, well, do I have to and I’m like, you have to we go through it. I get it. She is calling me. Constantly. i She’s getting ready. Fine. It’s fine. I committed. I’m like, I’m gonna do this. Yeah, I can handle this. She’s like, well, do I have to do the pressure washers this much money? I’m like, I think you do? Yes. Or do you have a it’s this? Like, I think you Yes. And every day. She didn’t like my answers, but she was like, Okay, I’ll do it fine. All of a sudden, I’m like, she shouldn’t be done by now. She said I was gonna be like this week. She listed it with someone else. I don’t even know why. And you know what my initial reaction was? Oh, thank God, thank God. I’m like, Why did I even say I would do this listing?

So do you ever find out? Oh, no. I have no clue. Like you didn’t match ours.

You want to know me one day after five? And I didn’t answer but she didn’t leave a message. And we texted she didn’t text you an email. There was nothing else like she called I didn’t catch it. And then I guess within a few days, she listed it with someone else. And I was just kind of like, thank you. I had it wasn’t me. I couldn’t do it again, because I think it was gonna be an easy sale. Right? So that’s interesting, best that she but I don’t know how to say no to those. Do

you know what I mean? No. And sometimes you don’t know until it’s too late sino and then you just have to power through and take the life lessons and

live but right. And then you’re also like, I know how hard she is when I refer that to a person I liked. Do you know what I mean? Like,

those are the ones I send to like the new agents in the office and I’m like you’re paying for they’re gonna learn a lot. emotionally, spiritually, it’s gonna be a growth. It’s gonna be a growth experience for you. And then I’m going to take a referral fee. So that’s Welcome to Real Estate.

Right, right. Yeah. But as a new agent,

I would have been all about it. I was I was like, if you have a crazy client said them, I’m happy to do it. I would love to, because I need a client. Any client lender in the beginning was like, where do you find these people? Almost like phone duty. It’s not easy, but we got it. And I’ve learned so much. Yeah, I haven’t had a toughy in a while. Okay, I’m in the middle of a toughy. And I was surprised that myself, right. How hard of a time I was having I had to give myself a little pep talk. Yeah, I’d be like, No, Alyssa, this is not a real problem. Yeah, what they are upset about is not valid. You can empathize and you know had them. But you’re not upset. No. Why am I upset? Right? got upset? Oh, good. I’m

glad you got there.

It’s it comes and goes.

When you have a hard transaction, that’s how it is. Comes in good news when they’re gone. They’re gone. Yeah, we just had an episode about that. And

then they don’t go on the database if you never want to work with them again, right?

Maybe that’s where I went wrong. She should have never been, you know, those

people like, I’m like, I’m not putting you on my date. They still fight and I have never follow up with them. And then four years later, a show that they call you and are like, Hey, will you be my realtor? Again? I’m like, why? Wait, no, I have not followed up with you at all. You should have forgotten. I laugh at you to leave. Please go. And then I’m like, sure. Right. But okay, so

we need to work on that. Yeah, we need to work on that. Because I don’t want to say sure anymore. I want to say, Oh, I have a great agent for you. I’m not able to take a new client at this moment. Yeah, I know. It’s crazy. Okay, anything else on your making choices?

No, I just think to remember that sometimes we feel like the busy weekend is our life. And it doesn’t mean you’re successful. And it’ll pass the slow. Always it ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows. And I think that if if you feel like you’re in a season where it is every weekend, and something’s not working, you not only need to evaluate work choices. But do my kids need to be in for sports? Right? Do I need to be involved in five?

Maybe a math room? Maybe Yeah, maybe we don’t go to you know, my uncle’s birthday party that we never

like, we need to let some things go like maybe make a list of all the things that you have committed to and see it on paper and say what is not working? Right. Right. And you also have to understand that in real estate, we do have to work weekend sometimes.

Yeah. So I don’t think at this point. Being a full time working realtor, I could sign my kid up for travel baseball. Do you know what I like? A hard weekend, and it’s a lot of weekends. And that that just wouldn’t be a fit for my work lifestyle, right. But you could play in a different baseball team that doesn’t have to travel that maybe only plays once a week or practices once you don’t like it’s a choice, you have to make a choice. I would

like to praise one of our new agents. Let’s hear it. She got licensed this past summer. And I was like, so excited. She was a good friend of mine. I was their realtor. And her husband was in our wedding. But anyways, we’re just good friends. And so she got licensed. She also has four very little children, like for under the age of five or so oh my gosh, it’s craziness. Craziness. She does not recommend it. But she said, I was like So are you going to start coming to the office? Are you going to start like doing all these things? And let’s let’s get going, you know, oh, there’s my alarm. Okay. Okay. Well finish the story. Okay, great. And, um, so she said, Oh, no, I got my licensing out the way but I’m not starting for real until January. Oh, okay. I said why? And she said, Well, you know, my husband is a football coach. And during football season, I am like, single parenting over here, hey, I don’t have help on the weekends or the evenings because he is at practice. He is at games. He’s like, I don’t have help. So I’m going to use the fall to like really get in my training. Okay, really get in my education. I am not trying to like come in and like conquer the real estate world right now. I love that. And I think so many people have a hard time saying that, right? I was so proud of her for not feeling like she had to jump in right and just kill herself to make it work. Right. She knew fall is not going to work, right? I’m going to just really focus on right. Anything I can do during business hours, and then that’s all I can commit to. And come January when my weekends are a little more free. I’m ready and she has done a great job. That’s all she’s really doing. Well Oh, I love that. She had to choose. You have to choose. She had to make choices. Yeah. Yeah. So

okay, we aren’t capable of doing it all. Alright, let’s do a toast from mullet. No, Marissa Miller. Okay. Marissa is gonna toast to her broker, Kevin deke. They are in Appleton, Wisconsin. Okay. Okay. Appleton. All right. Yes, Appleton. Anyone who knows Kevin. Their life is better because of it. I was nervous to start a new career a few years ago and Kevin put my mind at ease. He gave me the tools education and mentoring that I needed to grow as an agent. He always says that he wants to build independent agents, not broker dependent agents. He has helped me through so many stages in my life, and I feel like I’ve grown so much as a person because of him. I am much more confident patient and knowledgeable now that I now than I was before I got into real estate Eight. Kevin is big on mindset, which is the foundation that our brokerage is built on. I’m very proud to be part of his brokerage. Thank you, Kevin, for all that you do.

I love independent agents not broker dependent, right. I’ve never heard that term. We should have used that on like, choosing a broker episode. Yeah. You know, like, it’s not really about the company you choose. It’s about what if you can make it happen,

right. But he was a good ally. Good to her. You. Thank

you, Kevin.

He was creating an independent agent. Yes. Okay. I love that. So cheers to Kevin. Thank you to Marissa. And goodbye to all of you go make some good choices. make good choices.

Good choices. Pray for me. Okay. Good. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for tuning in to the hustle humbly podcast.

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Two Realtors fostering community over competition through light-hearted conversations.



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