Are you the type of person that people want to tell their life story to? Or is it more difficult for you to get people talking and build real relationships? Join us for an in depth discussion on how to become approachable not only for clients but for anyone in your life. Surprisingly, you can improve your approachability and we will give you 5 tips to do so. We talk about using your unique vibe to attract your tribe and overcoming introvertedness. We also cover the importance of really listening and keeping in mind that everyone is different.

The following is a rough transcript provided by Otter.ai.

0:00
Do you want me to get your microphone? monogrammed? What Yeah, sort of thing? No, I just made it up but

0:08
like, wow. Where does that even come from? I don’t know. But

0:16
get it etched or engraved or something. Where

0:18
did this pop into your brain?

0:22
Are you starting to feel attached to your microphone?

0:24
No. Hi y’all welcome to hustle humbly. It’s Alyssa and Katie and we are two top producing realtors in the Baton Rouge market. We work for two different companies where we should be competitors. But we have chosen community over competition. The goal of our podcast is to encourage you to find your own way in business to stop comparing

0:42
yourself and start embracing your strengths. Hi, all in podcast land. You might not know this, but we just talked to YouTube for like two minutes. And this is episode 25. Wow, that’s

0:53
a big milestone.

0:54
I feel like they all are now. I just ate they it happened so fast. It does. Episode 25 is the importance of being approachable. Yeah, I kind of liked that. I don’t know that was always meant to be the name but I like it.

1:07
approachable, likeable, relatable, relatable. They all kind of go together

1:13
casually, professional, casually.

1:15
Professional, my favorite.

1:18
I mean, and why it’s important. Why is it and we’re going to talk about why it’s important. Okay, okay. We’re just like hanging out. I feel like episode 25 listeners should all know that we batch recorded three episodes today. So this is the end of what I’m liking to call my soapbox series. And the last two episodes, which were professionalism and client management. Yeah. And now we’re here.

1:43
Like these three kind of seem to go hand in hand. If we do

1:47
that a little bit. I feel like you know you there’s a lot to be said about all of the topics that relate to real estate and entrepreneur ism instead of thing. So anyway, yeah, these this is the kind of touchy feely one Okay, importance of being approachable. Yeah, what you got Alyssa, Alyssa, what do you have? Okay,

2:07
well, I think one thing to know here is that if you’re an introvert and you’re not super good at putting yourself out there, the good news for you is that it is a skill that can actually be practice. Oh, really? You can practice being more approachable and being more likeable? You do if it’s not something that comes naturally for you? You do have to put yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit right, but it gets easy quickly. Okay, but you

2:34
are an extrovert by nature? Yes. Like it came naturally to you very natural or super social. Yes. I have recently read an article that resonated with me greatly, which was an an extroverted introvert. So I have an internal feelings of being an introvert. Okay, and sort of like a time limit on how long I can be extroverted, right? But But I can appear as an extrovert, okay, in which it makes total sense to me as a kid, I was super shy, and not not like the type that would talk to strangers. And now people would be like, Are you for real? Like, there’s no way but I think that that is the thing too. So tell us how you can work through your introverted Ness? Are you gonna give us tips or what?

3:15
Yeah, I do have some tips that I researched that just came from a variety of different places, okay. But there was I think, maybe 12345. So there are five main tips that I found, okay, I’m researching online on how to become more approachable and likeable. The reason this is important is because we are in the people business. And the more comfortable people feel with you, the more they want to work with you and refer others to them, the easier the whole process is going to be. Exactly. Yeah. And if you are stiff and uncomfortable and not easy to talk to, and you can’t look people in the eye, right? You’re not going to get the referrals, and it’s going to be a struggle, a constant struggle, you might fail. Yeah, I mean, I’m not it just may not be the right business for you. No kidding. Because this is all about the people. Yep. Okay, so the biggest thing is you have to lead with curiosity about the other person. I love everything about this. So it’s kind of like I think I’ve talked about this before, where I say when I go to social events, like a luncheon for a group I’m in or something like that, instead of being like, here’s my business card. Here’s my business card. Me, me, me. I’m awesome, right? You have to ask people like, Do you have a business card? What do you do? What do you do? They usually say No, I don’t and you say that’s okay, here’s my business card, email me so I have your contact information. But it’s all about leading with curiosity. Okay, so it’s not so much about you being approachable, as it is about you being able to approach Oh, so like, if you’re at an event, if you’re at a party, maybe look for that person? Yes. That doesn’t really have anybody that’s talking to them. Okay, because When you go up to them and ask them a question, they are like, thank god. Okay. And like, everybody likes to be liked. Yeah. And you kind of just have to go back to be, it’s just like the nice thing to do. And you don’t want anybody to ever feel left out agree. And even in adult world, like this is a saying, you know, or so an adult world. And it always needs to be questions about them. Yes. So like, Hey, I’m Alyssa would What’s your name? Okay. Are you new to the group? Where do you work? Oh, that’s awesome. What got you interested in that? There’s always a follow up question. Okay. But they said, if they answer and you go, Oh, great. And that’s it, then it says, I’m not interested. And then they immediately feel nervous or like, like, they have failed or like, they don’t like me, right? The you don’t want to talk to them. Okay. You always want to act like so when you ask someone like, hey, what do you do? And they say, Oh, I’m a petroleum coordinator. And you go, oh, like, you’re supposed to be like, Oh, wow, that I have no idea what that is. What is that? How did you even get into that? And like, then, if you ask them about them, you will see them light up, right? Like they’re instantly just like, I can talk about this all day long.

6:24
And it becomes easy. Exactly. And it’s easy for them to come up with something to say,

6:28
right? But there’s an endless amount that you can ask about, you know, where are you from family, friends, but the goal is just to go up to someone that is not included, and include them.

6:39
Okay, I would like to insert here and I don’t know if this is the right time. This is exactly the method that I use it open houses who perfect someone comes into open house, they are a stranger, they typically don’t really want to talk to you necessarily. And you just say hi. Do you live near here? You know, how do you like it there? Don’t ask them things that are going to like, you know, you probably wouldn’t ask someone at your open house. What do you do? Maybe after a while, but like, you know, have you looked at a lot of houses today? Oh, really? How would How was the kitchen in that house? Like just how long

7:07
have you lived there? Right? It’s exciting. Do you rent? Do you have exactly so many questions that can be asked? Oh, many, but you just have to be casual? Don’t overthink it. Yeah. So step one is lead with genuine curiosity. And don’t make it about yourself. Love it. Step two. Watch your face. What is that girl wash your face girl, watch your face girl wash your face. Um, if somebody’s telling a story. You just have to be aware of what your face look like. Okay? Are you interested? Are you not like smiling and nodding. So I think I got this tip from someone who said they actually speak Oh, and they are speaker but you can emotionally professional speaker. And she said, I like the people in the audience that are like nodding, or even if they’re shaking their head like no or just No, they’re listening. Yeah, like, I don’t care. If you agree, disagree. I just want to know that you’re like listening to what I’m saying. I love that. So if you want someone to like you, and you’re in a social setting, because some people don’t even realize what their face looks like, because you just get to think

8:18
we need to talk about RB RBF. The resting bitchface. Like some people don’t know like, they don’t know that you’re telling me I can you could work on this.

8:29
You can work on it. And even things like nodding or smiling and try like some people. They’re just not natural smilers. But then there’s those people that always have like a creepy smile on their face. Like it’s a fine line and like what are they talking about? Maybe you shouldn’t be smiling. Don’t creepy smile. But smile. You need to show with your body language that you’re liking gay now you’re supposed

8:51
to mirror the other person’s body language, right? Oh, yeah, that’s sorry, thing. Yeah. Okay, go on.

8:57
Don’t want up people. Say it again. Don’t want up people

9:02
don’t be worried about what you’re gonna say while they are talking. Right?

9:06
So if they say, oh, yeah, I just started a pocket. Oh, really? I have a podcast to let me tell you all about my podcast and let me tell you all about this note, are like, Oh, I’m in real estate too. Let me tell you about all my sales and this. Know that like, No, you just need to take a moment and take a timeout for yourself and be interested in that person. You know, all these tips just go along with being humble. Oh, that’s true. And just like wait to bring that right around. Yeah, I mean, you know, use their names. Katie.

9:35
Alyssa, what a great tip.

9:37
I know we’re supposed to be doing that. I know. Nice work. Alyssa. Yeah, thank you, Katie. And it’s really just about like keeping it casual and

9:45
being you Okay, before we get past the name, okay. That is also the tip when you’re trying to learn someone’s name. So if you meet someone for the first time and they say, Hi, I’m Katie, you repeat back by Katie, nice to meet you and then try to work it in at least one more time so that you You will remember their name, and I guess also be more approachable. Yeah, exactly.

10:04
But it’s like so important. And I think in the open house episode, I talked about how, when I was new, I was like, very stiff and rigid and tried to like, dress up more than I normally do and like, get a suit on. And yeah, I was always like, awkward. And then the one day that I had brunch that I came from and was late and didn’t have any fliers and I was in my jeans and your coffee, and all of a sudden, everybody was like, casually my friend. And I was like, this is going so much better. Right? And it’s because like, I was just being myself. Yeah. And that’s my goal with the people in my life. Yeah, it’s like, I just want them to know that you don’t have to be fancy with me, right? You don’t have to be polished up. I’m fine. Knowing whatever mess is going on in your life. You don’t have to clean up on my behalf, you know? And then people just like you because they know you like them. Yes. And then when they hear someone that needs to buy or sell a house, they just think of you like,

11:03
oh, yeah, Alyssa is the bath. Yeah. She said, Well, I hadn’t on mine, don’t take yourself too seriously. And that just totally goes in with that. I mean, you don’t need to look a certain part. You don’t need to drive a certain car. You know, being a realtor, can it you can be who you are still be professional. And that will make you more approachable. And your vibe will attract your tribe. Yeah. So you don’t want a bunch of people that don’t get you.

11:31
And it’s like, how are you portraying yourself on social media? Is it true to how you are in person? I agree. If they meet you do they feel like oh, yeah, like I know, you know? Yeah,

11:42
I agree. I think that’s you’ve got to put parts of yourself into social media so that it makes sense when they see you. Oh, well, she’s not all.

11:49
There’s some realtor social medias out there that make me cry.

11:53
Oh, my God so much. Yes, I had a note in mind that says in social media, just remember that Done is better than perfect. Yeah, you’re unpolished. This can be attractive. And we just came off of professionalism Two episodes ago. So I’m not trying to say be unprofessional. but be mindful that on social media, you can be who you are, you know, maybe you don’t want to get deep into politics or religion or curse at everyone

12:21
that you are a complainer a negative name, you can still be you like

12:24
I this year, I have posted a million more times about football than I ever did before. Because that’s what I like. Yeah, I’m okay with that. And then people respond to me. And then people know that that’s something about me. And maybe that relates to them, like maybe they’re able to pick up on Oh, you like to cook or or you like dogs or whatever it is. It’ll make it more natural and approachable for you to become friends. Because that’s sort of the point. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Okay, I like that. That was all the tips. That was the top five episode over,

12:55
I got the end. Um, but I was when I was kind of studying up on this. I’ve read this very short article that this professor college professor wrote about how some of his favorite students are the B students. Okay? It’s not always the a plus students that are like, you know, Gung, Gung Ho and like, overly eager and like, yeah, you just want to like calm down, you know, right. Right. But sometimes it’s the B students that can maybe juggle a little bit more. And they do everything. Well, yeah, you know, and they are just have a little bit going on here and there. And you know, they’re just going with the flow of life. Okay. They’re not overly stressed about they’re more epi wing. Yeah. And that’s just what people like, yeah, you know, anybody.

13:39
I don’t think it has any relation. But you know, type A personalities are always the students. They just have to get it all perfect and right. And I can see that be students being the more approachable, easygoing. I’m not gonna lie, though. I wasn’t a student, like, I’m growing out of being that Yeah. But you know, as you get older, you realize it doesn’t matter if you’re perfect. Right? And nobody is, and you don’t need to be. Okay, I like that. All right, I had one. J, specifically. And I feel like I get this too. And I think it’s part of being approachable. Do people want to tell you their life story?

14:14
So Jay, is your husband and our producer, correct. And he is an Enneagram to just like me, just like your hell are both helpers? Very helpful. And people like to tell Oh, my God, complete strangers will tell him their life story. They do it to me, too, does have that kind of warmth about him, though. You’re just like telling him all the things just like

14:33
here, listen to me. Do you know why? And I’m going to tell you, the key to being approachable and people wanting to tell you things is that it appears that you are listening because you are actually listening, really listening. Listen, I mean, and that’s the thing I tell myself when I’m on the phone with clients. Listen,

14:50
I mean, that’s probably a good word of the year for somebody. Yeah. Listen, stop talking so much. Just just like take the focus off of yourself. Yeah, and hear what’s going on. and around you. Yes. Do people want to tell you their life story? Yes. But it confuses me a little bit, because I don’t feel like I’m, I’m that approachable. Like, you know, I’m a little awkward with like, oh, well apparently neither does anybody else. Maybe I just feel tired. Okay, I feel it on the inside. Oh, funny, but and I don’t mind hearing it. Okay, so funny story. I was at a home inspection a few years ago, okay. And the buyers, mom and dad came all right, and we’re at the home inspection, everything’s going fine. Mom and Dad walk outside and the girl turns to me and goes, I have to tell you something because I have to tell someone working on my laptop trying to be productive during this home inspection. So I’m like, Okay, what do you got it? She’s like, I’m pregnant. I’m like, Oh my gosh, I’m so happy for you. Congratulations. It’s just like, thanks so much. Hey, don’t say anything because my mom and dad don’t know. And I’m like, what? Why are you telling me right now right now, when they’re here? They’re in the backyard. Oh, my word. And I’m like, Oh, okay. Okay, so then an hour later, we’re done with the home inspection. We’re just hanging out in the kitchen discussing, you know, the home inspection. And then her mom said something like, Well, whenever y’all do have another baby, you’re gonna have to do this or whatever. And she’s like, what is that going to be? The mom said that to her. And I’m like, oh, gosh, oh, God. I know, I already know the secret. And so you’re like

16:30
sweating? Like,

16:32
don’t say anything wrong. You know, don’t say anything. She’s like, Mom, I told you in the spring. We want to wait until after so and so’s wedding. And the trip is over. And she’s like, just totally. She was like, she was a great liar. It’s crazy. You couldn’t handle it. But it was just so funny. And I’m like, oh, but that it’s just funny how as Realtors like, I have gotten Oh, yeah, you have to like you kind of know who’s getting divorced before it’s all about pregnant. Same thing. Like sometimes they have to let you in on their life, because it’s part of why they’re moving. And I have a seller right now that the wife is due like right now with her baby. Yeah. And I’m included on the family labor update, because you need to because I need to know I need to know when it’s happening. And right. If we get a showing request when you’re in the hospital and when you’re home. And that’s true, though. I know. Like we’re involved in people’s lives on a very intimate level.

17:24
Here’s the worst one I ever had. I went through a pre listing appointment or listing appointment, whatever way it didn’t get listed. But I went the I only met with the wife, she we talked about listing and preparing the house and she wanted to know everything she needed to do. And she says, Oh, by the way, I’m telling my husband, we’re moving because of x. But really after we sell the house, I’m gonna file for divorce. And I was like,

17:48
oh, man, oh, like, what did you even say?

17:54
I was just like, Oh, okay. I mean, like, it’s, what do you do? I know, I can’t say no, I can’t take your list. I mean, she, it’s well within her rights to that mean, if he would, he was gonna sign the papers. He wanted to sell the house for whatever reason, she told him, but I was just like, This is so crazy.

18:12
Wow, we really do deal with a lot of like, intimate knowledge and secret keeping client confidentiality

18:19
is very important it is. And so whilst you’re being approachable, and getting all that good information that you need, remember, you are confident, yeah, you your trusted adviser, you need to be mindful. I had in my notes, also that you need to know yourself. In order to be approachable, I think it’s a great idea to go back to and take the test Enneagram and listen to that episode. If you know who you are. It’s easier to understand other people. Yeah. And it’s easier to let them see who you are, and to learn who they are. And to and to kind of figure it out that way. You have

18:55
to remember that everybody’s different. Everybody. Oh, my can’t all be like you. Everybody’s so different. No, yeah. Oh,

19:02
okay. So I have that you need to know yourself. And then you need to know your client and every client, and they do all those personality tests and stuff that you can learn about your clients with the types of people, right, I’m not into that. Yeah. But it is probably wise to understand how people communicate, you know, if your client prefers to text or email or talk on the phone, or maybe they want to, you know, see you in person. I don’t know if that’s part of being approachable and being relatable, like, you need to be available to them, and they’re what they’re comfortable in.

19:35
Yeah, I mean, I have had several clients that maybe didn’t use me in the early years. They had a realtor, okay, but then the second time around when they’re moving, they call me and I kind of look up who their agent was they bought, and sometimes it just makes sense, because it’s like, that person’s very stuffy or can come off as kind of rude or why would you want to work with them twice? Yeah, yeah. And so it just goes to show that Just because you sold someone a house one time, if they did not have a pleasant experience with you, they are not going to repeat. They’re not your friends.

20:09
I think that’s true. Yeah, I think the other thing about being approachable is not being threatening. And this is gonna sound weird. And I don’t know how to put this without, I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. Okay. I think that if you especially are working with a couple, you don’t want to make a wife feel uncomfortable. If you’re a female, yeah, the way you dress or how you behave towards their husband, or like you need to be, I think, mindful of your actions and that you’re equally talking to both parties, right, that you’re appropriately dressed that you’re not trying to be all hoochie. While you’ve got, like, you know, in if, if, if you dress in that way, and that’s your jam. I mean, it is what it is. I don’t think it’s wise. And I think that a lot of times, being when both parties are comfortable with you, it’s easier to get where you need to go like it’s easier to get through the transaction. It’s easier to keep it a working relationship. Yes. If a wife is worried about you, as you know, a competition or you know, if you’re always talking to the husband, and the wife is starting to feel uncomfortable about that. Just be mindful. I mean, they have to be mindful, there are two people in that operation, you need to address them both. And sometimes it’s the wife who’s in charge, and maybe y’all are turning into like bestie girlfriends, and the husband feels left out like it can go both ways. But be mindful that everyone needs to feel like they’re a part of that. Right. And that you’re not threatening the other party in any way. Yeah, yeah.

21:38
I don’t know. I agree with that.

21:39
I think that I look non threatening just by my looks in general. So it’s easier for me to get visible.

21:45
We’re both of us are more casual. Yeah. So like jeans or, you know, flats, right? Not too much high heeled, not too much. No Frou Frou?

21:55
No no a lot of Frou Frou and a lot of flashy jewelry.

21:58
Yeah. But yeah, I mean, one. I think I’ve shared the Mercedes story where when I got the Baton Rouge business report, yeah. 40 under Florida, and one of the awards. One of the benefits of that award was that Mercedes gave us each a Mercedes to drive for 30 days. Yes. And I was excited. I was like, This is gonna be cool, like a fun change. But I cannot tell you how weird I felt like oh, pulling up to show like first time homebuyers looking at kind of a crummy house. Yeah, pulling up in my Mercedes. Like I had I literally every time I got out the car, I was like, that’s not my This isn’t my car. Oh my god, this is not my car. And if you have a Mercedes, that is totally fine. I just knew it wasn’t authentic to who I was. Yes. So I felt like yeah, comfortable in it. Because it wasn’t, it was fun. But it wasn’t me.

22:49
When you were uncomfortable. In any situation, that’s when you won’t be yourself. That’s when you won’t come across authentically. That’s when you won’t have the confidence to give them the messages you need to give them like that’s when you’re gonna feel awkward and weird and things are not gonna go smoothly. Yeah, so I think it is important to like, lean into who you are. Don’t try and fake it till you make it right. Y’all stop that. Just stop. Don’t it’s not necessary. I mean, if people don’t want to work with you, because you’re new, that’s okay. Someone will and you need to learn how to play up the I’m new so I have more time for you. I’m new. I’m eager, eager to learn. I’m new like I’m all yours like so I had

23:30
a new agent text me last night. I’m kind of I’m friends with her. But she was like, so do you have trouble when like your friends don’t use you. And I wanted to be like, welcome to Real Estate. Yeah, yeah, it happens a lot in the beginning a lot. It does not happen as much as it time goes on. But it’ll still sneak attack you. Yeah, for sure. It’ll still happen for sure. But it’s not you. It’s that person for whatever reason, you know, and

23:57
some people are so guarded that they don’t want a friend to know their financial information. They don’t want a friend to know why they’re moving. Or they don’t want a friend to see their house that they’re listing like they just feel guarded for whatever reason. Yeah, it’s hard letting people into your space that it’s it’s so exposing some communication,

24:17
you know, like if you’ve noticed that someone if you’re like, in a group, yes. And you notice someone hasn’t attended a meeting or to check on them? Yeah, like, get in their space and be like, Hey, how are you? I just wanted to I was thinking about you or whatever the case may be Yep. But it’s like the more in people think like follow up and realtor touches and stuff. Have to be all creepy and have to be all business SEO and it could be as simple as checking on your people. Yeah, that you love for sure.

24:48
Absolutely. And it’s not you’re building a relationship. And if you look at it that way, instead of you’re building a business or a lead or a you know referral, build a relationship. And then it should naturally flow. But also don’t, don’t be a secret agent while you’re building them. I know be you know, be friendly and be approachable. But it’s

25:09
so hard when you’re new. And you’re just like, buy me the sale or slow. And you’re like, I need the sale, I need the money, money, money, money. It’s so easy to have the money mindset and not the people mindset. But without the people, you’re never going to have the money. Oh, yes. And people try to overcomplicate this business they do. And they try to reinvent the real estate wheel, right? And they’re like, I’m going to embed all these crazy systems like It cracks me up how people are starting to message us to ask for like our secrets. And yeah, it’s like the secret is we are simple. Very, so we don’t do we don’t have fancy technology. No, we don’t do crazy things and weird marketing videos. And ya know, like all of that fluff does nothing to connect you with the heart of the human being agreed. And once you can reach people on an authentic level, it just all naturally happens. People don’t like this method, because it can take time. Yep, absolutely. They want quick results. And building relationships can take time. They don’t want to believe that. That’s all it takes. Because that’s not something I can do like that looks like your traditional Dornoch or young call or I don’t know, whatever the heck else call an expired or withdrawn it just doesn’t. Well, that’s not what the guru that was at my

26:28
office last week said yeah, I’ve got to do all these things that are miserable. And I hate. Meanwhile, you could just be out there being nice to people.

26:35
Yeah. So that’s the end. Like, I feel like, I haven’t got a job. Do you like to be so successful? I’m like, be nice to people. Right? And be present be present in their lives and be nice. Yes.

26:46
And how about when you’re spending time with them be present in a way that’s meaningful to you don’t just show up and stand in the corner and like be on your phone the whole time. And that’s the same for if you’re in a showing with a new client, like be present, be mindful, still ask the questions. Don’t just check out because you think they’re yours.

27:02
Right?

27:03
They could easily dump you and pick another agent 100%. Like, be there be available be available too short of being approachable as being available, like, do are you responsive? Do you respond to messages? Do you have some time for them? Like when they you know, try to set up an appointment? Is it difficult?

27:22
I will say at one point, I was feeling overwhelmed, because like, okay, so if I do 90 transactions a year, that’s 90 new people in my life, and it’s like, how do you maintain all these relationships and this and that, but we our company had a lady who does training for chick fillet, oh, come and speak at our symposium. I bet that was cool. It was so cool. And I liked it. Because obviously she trains Chick fil A employee, right? But it’s all about attitude and mindset. And the message is applicable to any industry very similar to how our podcast is love it. And she was saying that it is you can love and appreciate every single one of your customers, but you do not have to be everybody’s best friend. Right? And I just felt like, in that moment, somebody just gave me permission to not have to be your best friend. Yeah, like it is totally okay. If I just send you a thank you card once a year letting you know, I remember you and like you get a Christmas card to I don’t have to be everybody’s best friend. And it just gave me permission. Well,

28:28
because over time, you’re going to have so many clients that Yeah, everyone here pacity for every year, even if you’re not doing 90 transactions, you don’t have the capacity to be besties with every person you ever closed a deal with, right? But you can still be available and like,

28:44
yeah, you can still be you can still be in their life, you know, let them know that you remember them. But that doesn’t you don’t have to put all this pressure on yourself to like deliver a birthday cake on their birthday and like do all these crazy things for every single individual. Yes, a little bit goes a long way with people. Oh my gosh, yeah. And it just goes to show a little bit goes a long way because nobody’s doing anything.

29:06
It’s so easy to be more impressive than the next guy because you don’t have to do that much

29:13
I know to be you. You might feel like you’re behind and like what you’re doing but let me tell you, you’re not you are not Yeah, nobody’s doing any of these things. I know because I have coffee with them.

29:24
And when I follow up nobody does anything at it. Nobody did the thing. No. Oh, it’s rough. I also wanted to talk about EQ, you know, you hear this now EQ like IQ, emotional intelligence, like this is a this is terminology out in the world now where as you have to be mindful of the people around you, you know, have empathy and sympathy and listen and like just are the people around you, you know, in need of something or I kind of linked that empathy. is interesting and like, I typically cry with my clients. Like, I can’t help it if they cry if you’re if there’s they’re hurting, like, it’s going to affect me. I mean, now I’m going to recover. But yeah, like it will it will get to me. And I don’t think that makes me more approachable to because I think that they can sense sincerity and that I do care about their situation, because you do because I actually do. Yeah. And I think everyone should like, I think you should care about your clients, they don’t want to be your best friend, but you should care about them in a way that you care that the outcome of this transaction is good for them. Yeah, it’s positive like that. They are not feeling more stress as a result of your involvement. Like they should be feeling less stress and stuff. People move a lot for bad reasons, right? They don’t want to, they’re in a bad place. But you can still make that less stressful. I mean, I recently had to do on this year, I got a signed call from a third party company that dealt with bankruptcies. And I had a listing around the corner. And they basically called and asked if I would list this other house, so I had never met this person. They were not a referral. I knew I was walking into the door, and they were having to sell their house because of a financial reason. That was so nerve racking. Yeah. But I think that it, it went fine. I listened. I didn’t ignore the fact that I was there for a bad reason. I was just like, you know, I’m sorry that we’re not meeting under better circumstances. Yeah. And, you know, I just want to make this easier for you like, I mean, you know, it’s just like, if someone moves, if there’s a death or a divorce, or Yeah, you know, you can’t just brush it all under the rug that maybe people are in pain.

31:43
It kind of is like, today, whoever’s listening, look at all of your active listings, and all of your pendings the people that you’re currently working with right now, I know that you probably have no reason today to reach out to them. Yep. But if you just called them and said, Hey, I just wanted to check on you and see if you needed anything. Yeah, it would blow their mind. What can I do for what can I do for you? What can I do for you sell my house? Okay, great. I’ll get your leopard carpet. And I will sell your house. When do you want to do something for

32:17
me? Why don’t you go paint that red dining room?

32:19
Right? But it’s like, that’s the missing piece is that sometimes we get so transaction minded, that we’re so focused on like, Hi, I’m calling about a house. Hey, look at this house. Hey, we have a showing, hey, here’s the feedback. But when’s the last time that you were like, Hey, how’s it going? How are you feeling? Yeah, you know, if you have a like, I have a pregnant client. Hey, how’s it? How have you been feeling? How’s it going? Are you doing okay? And yeah, and you will be surprised at some of the answers that you get, right? Because sometimes they’re like, No, I’m like, so stressed out. I know. And they just need to be checked on that. And they need you to talk them off the ledge sometimes. Yeah, you have to take time to check on how people are doing. And like I fall victim to this sometimes, especially in the busy busy season. Like in July last year, I had 17 closings. Whoa. So it’s easy for us to be like closing, closing, closing. And forget that like to that one buyer.

33:17
It was so important.

33:18
Oh my gosh, it’s closing day and like, how are you celebrating with them and write you like on their team and making sure that you keep it special? And remember that like, you’ve done this 100 times, but they haven’t Oh, that’s right. It kind of goes a little bit back to client management. Like, you know, the drapes stay. But do they write you taking the time to like, guide them through the whole transaction? Yes. And that’s kind of where proactive versus reactive comes in. When they hear from you first? Yep. It’s you being proactive, right? But if you’re only contacting them, when something in the transaction needs attention, you’re reactive. They don’t even really know how much you care. Right. So just taking that extra time.

34:03
I think that’s yes, taking time. Your time is so valuable. If you’re willing to give your people time, they’re going to appreciate it. Yes. Yeah, I think that’s amazing. It’s very good. I like that

34:16
it’s not hard to be approachable, it’s not and relatable, but I think that the people that have the hardest time with it are when you’re like, entitled, you know, we all know the realtors out there that just you don’t really want to work with them. Every time you run into them. They want to like preach to you about how you should be doing your business or as

34:38
oh and y’all Please do not make the general public feel guilty if they are your friends that they didn’t work with. You know, it’s not doing anyone any favors. You don’t need to ruin a relationship over it. If you don’t have to take it personally. Yes, you can be upset and you can go like reset and do what you got to do. Yeah, but it’s okay manual your feelings in bed. And then maybe the next time they’ll use you, depending on how you react to this time. Yeah. And that’s happened to me many times I’ve had I mean, you know, not necessarily friends, but just someone who thought they were going to use me or like, I had a pre listing and it didn’t work out. And I was very kind and, you know, gracious in the loss and was like, Hey, can you just give me any feedback on what I could do better next time? I’m always looking to improve my business. And you know, what, three years down the road? They’re like, Hey, would you like to work with me? Yeah, I sure would. But do I didn’t burn that bridge. Yeah. And it’s okay. It’s just okay to to like, let it go. And to see. And just be nice. Yeah.

35:36
I asked to like if I don’t get a listing, yeah. Or if they’re like, Hey, we chose somebody else to be our buyer’s agent. I’m like, Hey, thanks for letting me know. I really appreciate that. Because I do. Yeah, I know. Now that I don’t have to keep following up with you. Yeah. But do you mind sharing with me what I could have done better? I’m always looking to improve. And I appreciate your advice.

35:55
Yeah. I think that’s a great way to react. humbling to I mean, yeah, for sure. But it’s just good to at least put it out there. And then, you know, I’ve, I have some closure. And you know, I did the right thing. And maybe one day, it’ll come back around. I’ve had people who didn’t use me, but referred someone else. I mean, for real. Yeah. You just don’t know, there’s just no reason to ever cut somebody off. Unless they were horrible to you.

36:19
What I kind of love about the real estate business now that I’m like, going into year eight, or nine. And figuring it out like is a lot of people that disappointed me in the beginning have become my clients. Right. But I think in the beginning, it’s like they’re waiting to see if you’re really sticking around. I totally agree with that. And once they realize that you’re here to stay, then they want to work with you. Okay,

36:43
talk about being relatable, and approachable. It is a no pressure way that I deal with clients. When people tell me they’re not sure if they’re going to move this year. I’m like, That’s okay. I’ll be here in three years. If you if you’re not sure, we start looking at houses, and they’re like, oh, I don’t know if this price range is going to work for me. I’d rather save up some more money. That’s okay. Doesn’t bother me. I’ll be here next year. Yep. Whenever you’re ready, you let me know, I’m fine with that. And I think it’s something about that puts them at such ease to be like, Well, I don’t feel any pressure to make this choice. And maybe they’ll come back in three months. Maybe they’ll come back in three years. I don’t care. I’m still going to be here

37:18
and they’re going to come back to you. Why wouldn’t they? Because they did not get that sleazy feeling of like we disappointed her because we

37:24
buy a house. Why wouldn’t they come back? Yeah. Okay. I love it. Oh, do you have anything else on your list? What do you have? I mean, I really pretty much hit all my high points. I think that you know what’s funny, let’s talk about this real quick before we do our toes. Okay. I think that the podcast is approachable.

37:44
Yeah. Well, it’s funny, because that has been a lot of the feedback. Yeah, is that people are like, I just like, I’ll just chat.

37:51
I like how you’re, you know, what you’re doing is simple. And like, yeah, because that’s just who we are. And it’s interesting, and how much you’ll be rewarded. And being who you are, whoever you are, is going to work out perfect for you. And it’s very funny to get the feedback. It is funny, because honestly, we’re just having a chat, because my dad was like to do like write it all out and read it.

38:14
I’m like, No, we just taught No, that’s. That’s what he’s saying. Like this. Yeah, that’s why sometimes we go, Oh,

38:19
what about now? I know. And she’s like, do you mean edit that out? I’m like, not really, it’s fine. It’s fine. Because it’s not meant to be perfect. No, think that casually professional. It’s right. If we can get past the need to be perfect. We’ll do more stuff in everything. I mean, if we were like, we have to know how to perfectly make a podcast. Guess what, we wouldn’t have a podcast never never. It’s okay. Because life is a journey. And you’re supposed to be like learning and doing and if you knew at all, and then just did it perfectly. How boring would that be?

38:50
Oh my gosh, life. Oh, no fun.

38:53
No bun. Do you want to do are toasty? I think you can. Okay, I’m going to do it. Okay, so we had a couple of people request that we toast someone who we’ve talked about before, and is special to the podcast. She’s been a guest. She’s been a guest. And I would toast her every time if I could. Yeah, she’s awesome. Like, she’s just awesome. And a totally approachable, ver that’s why we thought this would be a good episode to toast. Exactly. She’s approachable. And I mean, quite honestly, she is the singular person, maybe one of two, singular person I have met online that I would say is a real true friend and I have never met her in person. That’s awesome. So approachable, so kind, so receptive, willing to give time and just a delight. Just a pure delight. Yeah. So Daniel DeRosa and Nancy Gowen will go with that are the ones who suggested but I am totally on board. We are toasting Chelsea Peterson and we have

39:53
had several people recently email us and say like, Hey, I need some help on my social media. We’re getting a lot have new people to the podcast lately. Yeah, but we’re on episode 25 So they’re new they haven’t listened to all of the episodes. Yes. So Chelsea was episode well well so yes if you are wanting to figure out like Hey, what should I be doing on social media? Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? Go listen to episode 12 with Chelsea because she did a great job talking about being likeable and approachable on social media.

40:27
But did we call that one being authentic authentic on social which is all the same all the same? If you want to follow her go follow modern life realtor. Yes. And she’s amazing and she’ll show you how to be approachable and you know authentic on social media. Yeah, as people start online anyway. Even your friends need to see you being authentic. Yes. I love it. So cheers to Chelsea years to Chelsea years. We love you. Okay, I think that’s it. Okay. Goodbye, friends.

40:57
See you next week.

40:58
Oh yeah. Bye.

40:59
Thank you so much for tuning in to the hustle humbly podcast. Let us know who we should toast to for the next episode.

41:05
Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram at hustle humbly podcast. If you have an episode, topic or question please email us at hustle humbly podcast@gmail.com

41:14
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. See you next week. Bye. This is the goodbye