Do the words you choose in your professional communications really matter? According to research, they do, and we are here to provide you with a list of word and phrase swaps that will change the way you communicate from now on! We aren’t just giving you a list of swaps, either. This is a fascinating discussion on psychology and the power words have in our everyday lives. We are even giving you the exact words you need when you don’t know the answer to a question or if you’ve made a mistake. Are you ready to hear some of the funniest substitutions for when you can’t say what you really want to say? We’ll even share with you which swaps we are personally implementing from our research. Don’t miss this highly entertaining and impactful episode where we help you say this not that.

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The following is a rough transcript provided by Otter.ai.

Katy 0:00
and it doesn’t you don’t need to apologize for doing your job. Okay,

Alissa 0:06
that is good.

Katy 0:08
I just made a mental note say only lease.

Alissa 0:13
When talking to Deborah say lease, yes.

Katy 0:18
You know like you’re you’re living in a world that’s hard for you. Right? It’s also hard for us the deep feel

Alissa 0:27
your right hand remember one like walked out of open house and I thought dang I like bombed about what

Katy 0:33
was bad that was really bad to be on.

Alissa 0:35
Hi y’all welcome to hustle humbly. It’s Alyssa and Katie and we are two top producing realtors in the Baton Rouge market.

Katy 0:42
We work for two different companies where we should be competitors. But we have chosen community over competition.

Alissa 0:47
The goal of our podcasts is to encourage you to find your own way in business to stop

Katy 0:51
comparing yourself and start embracing your strengths.

Unknown Speaker 0:54
Hi, Alyssa. Hey, Katie. Welcome. It’s

Katy 0:57
episode 253 say this. Not that.

Alissa 1:00
Not that. Not that. I feel like this is a great episode for you in di Sure. Um, whenever I have to write an email, you know, I can come off as pretty dry. Yes. Or blunt to blunt. Yeah, it can be interpreted as rude. Rude, unintentionally. Yeah, definitely not intentionally, right. It needs fluff. So what I do is I like to write the email or the text and then I go to you or Connie. And I say, Can you write this better like that? Connie is also a well for you. She did it was always Connie. But now I have you two days a week. She must love the reprieve. She does. Because I use them a lot.

Katy 1:46
Well, okay, that I’m so glad you said it that way. Because my very first notice there is there’s power in your words. Yeah, the choice of your words, the tone of your words. It is impactful. And if you’re driving, we’re gonna have to put together I have so many like you need a notebook and a pencil for this episode,

Alissa 2:07
we’re going to take notes for you, I will take

Katy 2:09
notes for you. But there’s some really good ideas here to change the way people receive what you’re telling them. Okay, but the power of words is huge. And adding a little fluff is always good. We’re not necessarily going to teach you how to fluff but I’m gonna teach you how to make simple swaps. Okay, simple swaps. Also, I feel like it’s important as the neutral party in the middle of a transaction to use what I like to call defusing language, as opposed to inflaming language.

Alissa 2:41
I will say I don’t use inflaming

Katy 2:45
keeping things emotionally neutral, right? Yeah. Like we can’t be saying things that if you were the person receiving and receiving them, it would make you angry or sad or upset. We want to keep things. That’s our that’s her. That’s her point.

Alissa 3:02
And yes, we are talking about email and things that you are writing and texting. But I was listening to this podcast about writing professional business emails to prepare for this. I love this. And one of the things they said that made a lot of sense is that if you are practicing this, it just affects the way you speak as well. Yeah, so as you are typing, trying to be more professional, it will also shine through in your speaking it’s all tied together. If

Katy 3:31
you’re in an appointment, like a listing or showing or meeting a buyer for the first time. These these things are going to make you look more professional. Yes. Whether you use them in your verbal language or in your written communication. Okay, we might have to go back through and check that we haven’t used any of these words in any of our templates after I actually thought

Alissa 3:50
that because there were a few that I was like, that’s not bad. That’s not rude. I don’t think that’s rude. Yeah,

Katy 3:58
and I don’t know that it’s necessarily rude. Okay, and maybe, let’s just remind friends, I was an English major words are my jam. Like I really enjoy words. I like learning new words. I’m not trying to have like some kind of crazy large vocabulary, but I just really love that you can communicate with words, right? And you can say a lot of different things to it mean a lot of different things. Right? Okay, so I asked myself this a lot in life, not necessarily with words, but just me in my relations with my husband more than anything, okay, are my children, but you can use this when you’re writing or speaking. Okay? Do I want to be right? Or do I want to be happy?

Alissa 4:47
But isn’t being right, the true meaning of happiness. The

Katy 4:51
article I read while preparing for this actually used it different. I say that to myself. Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? Okay, like I don’t want to be right that you’re gonna get into an accident if you text and drive, I want to be happy. So just don’t text and drive. Do you follow what I’m saying? Like, yeah, I’m gonna be right or happy. I don’t want to predict something bad because I, like I knew this was gonna happen, I want to be happy. So I don’t want to I don’t want to fuss. I just want you to follow the rules. But they in this in the article in reference to this, say this third, not that they said, Do I want to be right? Or do I want to be kind?

Alissa 5:23
You can be both. You can

Katy 5:25
be both. But if you’re given the choice, you’re gonna have to let go being right.

Alissa 5:30
I see what you’re trying to do here. In some instance,

Katy 5:33
I see. Okay, okay, if you’re choosing between kindness and right can’t

Alissa 5:36
have both scenarios. In this scenario of question. It’s like that game. Would you rather you can’t have both and have to pick one, you have to

Katy 5:46
pick one. Okay. Now, I also before we start actually jumping into the swaps, I want to remind you that when you’re in person or on the phone, there is tone. When you listen to a podcast, like as I read these to you, there is tone, right? Yeah, in an email or in a text. And I couldn’t find I looked everywhere from this old quote that was basically like, you send a text or an email from where you are in your feelings. But the receiver receives it from where they are, right? They’re having a bad day, if they’re upset about something else, if something’s going on in their life, they’re going to take it however they want to take it and you have no control over that. That’s good. Unless you use exactly the right words. And I’m going to tell you friends, even with exactly the right words, someone can take what you said in written communication wrong. Oh, yeah. And it happens all the time. I also read about how

Alissa 6:41
if it is something that, that you know, email is for delivering information, which is why I’m so blunt. At times, I just, it’s efficiency. I’m just giving you what you need. Okay. So if it’s something that has a tone to it, they say you should pick up the phone, have the conversation and then send the email. That’s a great idea. So you’re like, hey, this is coming part of the conversation. Here’s what we just talked about. Just wanted to have it documented. Yeah, fluff fluff fluff, have a great day, right? Because

Katy 7:17
even though you’re dry in your written communication, you’re not dry in your verbal communication, right? You’re you’re kind and you have a positive warm tone.

Alissa 7:27
I like to think so.

Katy 7:28
I you do, I’m telling you, I’ve listened to so many things. That’s

Alissa 7:32
why it’s like, are you mad at me? And I’m like, why would I be mad at you? It was like when your email was just so short. And I have a lot of things going on. And I’m like, Oh, well, that’s just how I email. super efficient. Yeah, but if I was like that in person, you’re not. But if I was, maybe they wouldn’t be so surprised by my email. And they’re like, oh,

Katy 7:50
what’s wrong? Yes. That’s a great point. Okay, so remember, that’s, that’s, you have to qualify it that way. Yeah.

Alissa 7:57
Who’s your audience? What are you trying to say?

Katy 8:00
Are you ready for your first swap?

Alissa 8:01
Yeah,

Katy 8:02
this is what I need to work on. There’s a handful of these that I’m like really going to work on. And I have heard this before. And I just still default sometimes back to things instead of thinks you should be using. Thank you. Two words. Thank you. Now I’m going to read this excerpt from this article. When you say thanks to someone, it’s like a quick verbal pat on the back. The word itself doesn’t take much effort to say and it just rolls off your tongue. If you drop a pencil and someone picks it up for you, you’d say thanks. You basically would say thanks to just about anyone. Thank you, on the other hand, is a verbal hug, it takes more effort to say and people often add some tonal emphasis on either the first or second words like thank you, or Thank you, right?

Alissa 8:51
I really have appreciated G males auto suggests. Suggested auto Yes. Thank you so much for that information you like, click like,

Katy 9:00
Okay, let me finish. So plus, it’s a more it’s more personal, since it includes the word you Thank you. Rarely do people say thank you and not mean it. It’s often a genuine expression of appreciation and possibly affection. That is so true. Such a simple swap.

Alissa 9:21
Sometimes when a client says like, they’ll text me, thank you, and I’ll text back. Thank you.

Katy 9:27
I do that and I’ll have to put in all caps. Yeah, like, you know, thank you. No, thank you. So going forward, no more. Thanks. And thanks is one of my default when I’m emailing but it’s usually Thanks. Have a great day. So it’s never alone. Right? But even still, I gotta get on. Thank you.

Alissa 9:44
Do you know one that I read is offensive to some people that I use all the time? Why? Thank you in advance.

Katy 9:52
Oh, it’s like passive aggressive. Yeah.

Alissa 9:54
I use that all the time. You just

Katy 9:57
like get it effing done. Yeah. But it says that that’s

Alissa 10:01
how it’s perceived. That’s how I would have received perceived as I’m not giving you a choice, you will do that you will do this even that I think about sassy of like, okay, example. Hey, we’re all done with inspections. Mr. Linder, you can get the appraisal ordered. Thanks in advance. You’re gonna do that anyway. No, just thank

Katy 10:23
you. And he’s best words. You don’t want to you don’t want to write more words. I know. Efficiency wise. Thank you is better. And you don’t want to say that anyway. And it is passive aggressive. Yeah.

Alissa 10:34
I never in my tone. It was never that

Katy 10:37
way. Like I’m telling you. Thank you right now. Yeah, let’s get it done.

Alissa 10:41
I won’t have to say it later.

Katy 10:43
I’m just being efficient. Thanks in advance.

Alissa 10:44
Did I ever tell you thank you for ordering that appraisal.

Katy 10:48
Thank you.

Alissa 10:49
I guess it’s better like in the movies when they’re like if I forget to tell you I had a great time tonight. Wait, what movie? Is

Katy 10:56
that with Jim here? And he’s like, is it a Truman Show?

Alissa 10:59
I don’t know. I know. I’m pretty woman. Good morning. Good

Katy 11:04
afternoon and good night. Like the whole thing. Yeah, and if I don’t see you later, but apparently that’s good. Yeah, well not in advance. Yeah, room like that. Any other things on thank you now that’s it. Just go to thank you. Okay,

Alissa 11:16
that thank you to be so offense. Now.

Katy 11:19
I and I believe actually my assistant in 2016 sent me both of these articles. I don’t know why I just remember. I remember being made aware of the Thank you. Back then. And then this next article I’m going to tell tell you about? I received from my assistant, and it changed my life. What? Okay, this article is about the word the word just ju St. Just it was written by Chelsea stone. It was actually in glamour, I believe. And this is why she quit using the word just in her emails. And I’m gonna just read you some of this article. Okay. Maybe I was feeling insecure about my new job. She was young. Alright, in her first job out in the world, okay, baby, I was feeling insecure about my new job or insecure about my youth or just playing insecure, but I felt an incessant need to somehow rationalize all of my email correspondence, especially with more senior level folk, I developed a bad habit, the overuse of the word, just, you see, just as a tiny little insignificant word that implies that whenever whatever you’re emailing about is well, tiny and insignificant, innocuous. Harmless, just is a word that minimizes whatever follows. And somehow I got into my head that adding that little just in there made whatever request I had smaller, easier to handle and less of an inconvenience to whoever I was emailing. Basically, it’s another word for sorry. Here’s the example. Just checking in to see what time works for the this meeting. Just wondering if you had a chance to review dot dot dot just wanted to see if you had some time to chat about dot dot dot just following up to see if you read my last three emails. But here’s the thing starting off an email with just demeans what you have to say, just makes it sound like whatever you’re emailing about needs to be apologized for. And it doesn’t you don’t need to apologize for doing your job. Okay, that is he responded to my emails more urgently because my email sounded more urgent when she removed this, okay, okay, over time, as I stopped saying, just I found that I didn’t need it anymore. And I felt confident in my own abilities to do my job and determined to do whatever it took to do it well, including talking to people who intimidated me. Was it all because I did just I say yes, because doing so forced me to trust in the importance of what I had to say. And I think other people started to to, so I encourage you to remove just from your vocabulary, it’s just taking up valuable email space. That is

Alissa 13:53
funny and so true. I think that whenever I use that word the most is when I was trying to follow up with cold prospects cold Lee

Unknown Speaker 14:06
checking in

Alissa 14:08
just checking in wanting to see if you’re still for houses. Sorry to bother you. Sorry to bother you. I’m just doing my job here. It’s my job to follow up with you because you called me to help you buy a house. This

Katy 14:21
one is hard to break. Yeah. And I read this article way back then. So let me just say for the last six years, I’ve been trying to keep this out of my emails, and I still catch myself using it. I think having to delete it. You

Alissa 14:37
and I have talked about this word before. And we must have because I am also very aware of it and I delete it. I catch myself usually this is what I do. I write the email, and then I quickly skim it and make it shorter. That’s fine. I usually do that by taking out words such as jaw Ste or anything else that just sounds uncertain or uncredited? Yes, repetitive. But I think that if you’re reading an email or typing an email, and the word just is mentioned in there like that, it really shows that you or the person you’re receiving it from is struggling with a mindset issue. Absolutely. So if you have this is a mindset issue that comes out in your communication, you

Katy 15:26
don’t want your sellers especially but even your buyers or any of your clients to feel like you’re not sure of yourself. Like, we just need to do this. I’m just going to do that. Could you just meet me here?

Alissa 15:39
Just that?

Katy 15:41
It? Yeah. Because it makes sense. You’re trying to be like, it’s just a little thing.

Alissa 15:45
You also need to picture yourself when you’re writing it in an email saying it in person. Oh, yeah. If you ran into this person at supper club, okay. And you saw them, you’re like, Hey, would you be like, Hey, I just wanted to see if you were still working on getting your house ready for photos. That’s not how you would talk? No, you would say, Hey, how’s photo prep going?

Katy 16:12
Right? You would?

Alissa 16:14
Yeah, you wouldn’t?

Katy 16:15
I would just be like, we’re confident like, Yeah,

Alissa 16:20
but I think even those that aren’t confident with us, that really would feel silly. They would feel like a little property wondering because I type it, but I don’t use it would never say I would never that’s true. Yeah. I just wanted to say on that lines, they also say not to say at least, oh, at least. So when you are negotiating whether you have the buyer or the seller, we’ve all been in that situation, where you’re just trying to keep the deal together. And maybe you know, you’re splitting hairs at this point on price. And it’s about to fall apart because of a $500. Home Warranty. Yeah. When you start saying things like, at least they accepted the price. At least they right. It sounds like you’re getting the least Yes. Yeah. So you don’t want to say at least right? Whenever you’re in a situation where you are negotiate, it makes sense. You want to say, I’m thankful they took our price, right? Or good thing they took always start with good news. Yes, they did this, this and this. Yeah. Never be never focused on on the bad stuff. And saying at least people think they’re being helpful. Yeah. But they’re not not only in like business transactions, but also, they were saying that, that that’s offensive, and even personal life situations, like someone passes away, at least they’re in a better place now. Yeah, yeah. See, it’s just offensive all the time, all the time. Okay, so we’re removing, at least it’s for the same reason as just just making it least loving this,

Katy 17:59
at least, while we’re on, I guess, negotiation words, I didn’t go back to the book, because it would have then been the whole book, but never split. The difference is full of ways to phrase things. And the biggest thing I took away from never split the difference was, if someone is you’re trying to get them to acknowledge how they’re feeling, it seems like or it looks like instead of accusing someone, well, you’re very angry about this repair request. It seems like you’re unhappy with the number of items on the repair request, or just trying to because you’re assuming in your head why someone’s upset, but if you if you say it seems like or it looks like and then the whatever you think they will correct you. Okay, but if you just accused them, then they’re going to come from the defensive. And the other phrase and never split that never split. The difference that I really liked was have you given up on this? Yeah, that’s it simple like you check in with the lead. They haven’t responded in a while. Have you given up on buying a home? That’s it, though, you can’t put any other words has been really short. That will be hard for you. I feel really hard for me. But no fluff.

Alissa 19:14
There’s not I’m here for you. Whenever your time. No, no,

Katy 19:17
no, because no, as soon as you say that you’ve already closed the loop. You have to make it where they have to respond. I see. And if you’re like if not, I’ll be here doing blah, blah, blah.

Alissa 19:26
I’ll be here for the next 20 years. Oh, good. No rush at all. Right. So I

Katy 19:31
like that one, too. Let’s do a couple of funny client ones before we move on. Okay. Do you want to tell your shingles story?

Alissa 19:39
Oh, gosh,

Katy 19:40
do you not? I don’t know. Are you nervous about the shingles story?

Alissa 19:43
Oh, when does this air?

Katy 19:45
It’s going to air on June 10.

Alissa 19:47
Should be good. Okay, great. So I received a repair request for seller to replace the roof. I have the seller

Katy 19:56
and your seller said yes. Yes, sure, Larry. Well

Alissa 19:59
Problem replace the roof I mean is a problem but we’ll do it we’ll do it for grudgingly but must be done. And then it said buyer to approve shingles great. It’s going to be your house. Okay. So we got quotes, the roofer that we went with, sends me the shingle options. The buyers dad is like, we do not want laminated shingles, we want architectural shingles, and the roofers like, they’re all architectural shingles. And he’s like, Well, they say laminated or on top of them. And I’m like, I’ve never heard of a laminated shingle, and the buyer’s agents all this dad knows what he’s talking about. And I’m thinking he thinks he does. He thinks he does. And because of Google search, yes, so I’m googling laminated shingles. What

Katy 20:55
on earth is the difference but it makes sure we get the ones that aren’t Yeah,

Alissa 20:59
I mean, I can’t go through this and then it’s not right. Everything I read about laminated shingles is you know, they’re more durable they sustain higher winds like this is the kind of shingle you want and I so I called the buyer’s agent back I’m like, Listen, this wording is is not making sense. It is because she said he wants to make sure they are architectural and not laminated. I said, they are both and she said he wants to make sure that they’re overlapped. I said that is architectural three tab or composition shingle is flat. They are like subway tile. Yeah. Okay. And those are also laminated. It’s,

Katy 21:40
it has to do with the way a shingles made not the shape of the shingle. Yes, but

Alissa 21:45
you know, I didn’t know what so then I thought I knew I said to the roofer, is there any architectural shingles that are not laminated? He said, not that I carry. So then I got nervous. Like maybe there is such a thing I called the other roofers and big name, roofers. They’re like, all of our shingles are laminated. They’re the most durable kind. It is the

Katy 22:06
same thing.

Alissa 22:07
It’s the same thing like laminated

Katy 22:09
is architectural. Yes. It’s not they’re they’re saying their words for the same thing. Yes.

Alissa 22:15
And this, this research and debate went on for way too long. A lot of

Katy 22:23
you handle it in the end. Are you afraid to tell us?

Alissa 22:28
No, we just, I mean, they they picked a shingle so while I was researching and trying to decide what because my fear was this buyer dad doesn’t have anyone putting him in his place kindly by saying, sir, you are mistaken. They, it will be architectural laminated is not the problem, right? As long as it’s architectural. We’re good. Okay. So when I found out they’re all laminated, what am I gonna do now? I thought, gosh, do I call the agent and say, Hey, FYI, they’re all laminated, but I didn’t necessarily trust her to deliver that message. I thought if she went to the buyers dad and said, Hey, Mr. Dad, they’re all laminated. He would be like, forget it. We’re not getting we’re this thing had gotten way too out of control. Okay, because of the lack of one by thread. We were hanging on by a thread, lack of client management, lack of all sorts of things. Okay. So it’s like, I didn’t want to say that. Okay, so I was gonna go meet with Connie and be like, how should I handle this when, all of a sudden, from the choices they were given as the one where they said, This is the one final answer, right? Sold. So I wrote an addendum and had them sign off on it. And the like, initial the picture and all the things because I’m like, this is this is it. And I just didn’t say because it’s going to be at the end of the day. It sounded to me like the laminated wasn’t as much as concern as if they were going to be architectural. Right, right. They were going to be architectural. Yeah, that’s all rivers really do now here in Louisiana. Yeah. So it’s replaced. It looks great. We’ll see I don’t think it’s going to be a I thought what happens if the roofer is there replacing the shingles and at the bottom, like the box and like nailing the roof, and the dad is like, creeping around looking at boxes, like is this gonna? How do you say Listen, Mr. Buyer,

Katy 24:32
it’s just I checked, it is only three tabs is three tab. Laminated architectural is what they are. Yes, only architectural shingles are laminated three tab is what it’s called, like, there is no laminated three tab. It’s either three tabs or architectural, which is laminated. I

Alissa 24:50
just thought what like, I got aggravated at how tedious this was, but it brought up a really excellent point that When you write your repair request, this is why I like money in lieu of repairs. Language is so in layman’s language has never been more important. Yeah. Then in a buyer repair request, we had someone recently that, you know, noted almost everything on their inspection report but just put seller to check faulty breaker check. I’ll go look at it looks faulty, looks faulty. It never checked said repair it. Thankfully, I was not involved in this transaction. That sounds like as a listing agent, I have received some pretty vague Yeah, repair requests. And some of them are worded in a way that are almost impossible to even agree to because they’re just open ended. Yeah, you know, you know, some people say repair or replace. And it’s like, Well, which one you know, how do we know what we need to do? And if you’re looking for a loophole in your contract, you’re giving the bot by by agreeing to a ton of repair request. You are giving your buyers the buyers way too many loopholes to cancel like right before closing.

Katy 26:10
I don’t like that. I know. Okay, let’s move on from that. But language so important. So important. I have one funny one. Recently, I had a seller lead, who wasn’t sure if she wanted to sell her home or lease her home. But I said the word rent somewhere in our conversation, because to me, they are synonymous yet. And lease. Yes, you could rent it, you could lease it. What is the difference? You have a lease when you rent you sign a lease I just be a renter or a let lessor like it. Yes, who cares? But she said, Oh, no, I don’t I don’t want to rent it. I only want to lease it. Oh, because you’ll get you’ll get a certain type of person. If it’s a renter, and I’m like, oh my that’s the same thing, then I don’t own it.

Alissa 27:04
We’re looking for a lessor. Not a renter.

Katy 27:08
Only one. Yeah, let’s see. I guess she only wanted cuz she would be the whatever. It doesn’t matter. Only wanted to lease her home. Okay, she did not want to rent it. I was like, oh, yeah, no problem. Because sometimes you’re like, well, there’s no point even Argh, that’s how I

Alissa 27:21
felt about this roof situation. Okay, I’m like, do I make phone calls?

Katy 27:25
I just made a mental note, say only lease.

Alissa 27:30
When talking to Deborah say lease, yes.

Katy 27:33
Okay, let’s move on to some swaps. Are you ready for some more swap? Yeah. Because just we removed Thank you was a swap next swap? Sorry for the delay. Never say sorry for the delay. You’re never sorry. No. Thank you for your patience. Beautiful. Because if you’re worried about someone getting angry because you were slow. If you say a pre emptive not thank you in advance. But thank you for your patience. Then they’re like, Alright, fine. I’ll be patient. How about this one? That is not my job. Oh. Don’t lie. Like you don’t think a realtor has never said that. Well, that’s not my job.

Alissa 28:11
I’ve said it never to a client, maybe to like a listing agent, or here’s

Katy 28:15
a swap for you. I’d be happy to help you figure out how to reach your goal. Oh, like I’m not going to do it. But out. Here’s the number to whoever you need. Maybe. And I think

Alissa 28:24
this is really important. I’m seeing more and more agents, especially as we’re in a tougher market feel like they just have to bear their soul. Yeah, they are trying to be property managers of their vacant listings. And they are trying to be full blown designers with helping their clients remodel. It’s just actually not something that we’re getting paid for. For our job. Right.

Katy 28:53
But I would like to be devil’s advocate here. I also feel like the boundary police is getting a little out of hand. Yes. Like y’all. That’s what I that’s what I mean, if your seller is out of town, and they need you to meet someone to go change out a light fixture. I think that’s acceptable. Yes. In within reason. Like if they’re asking you to go there every day, then maybe that’s not okay. Like we’re not trying to be the contractor for a full scale renovation. But can we? Like, can we have office hours but also be able to step outside of them be like, well, this situation is urgent or the seller never does this, but right now they need me like, it’s not that black and white. It’s not that like lately, it’s been a little bit like oh, like sometimes I’ll see in groups where people are like asking for advice. Oh, my buyer did this. Oh, my seller did this. Oh, they’re calling me at all hours. The day night this happened. And sometimes the advice is really wild to me because I’m like, yo, it wouldn’t have been that hard to just simply shoot a text back that said, I’ll catch this for you in the morning. Could instead we’re like causing it To be like, I’m going to get up on a soapbox about how that’s not my job or outside of my work hours. I’m like, I’m not many clients do you have right now? Like, yeah, it probably isn’t going to take. How much of your day during working hours? Did you not have to work was my other question? Like maybe your work is sprinkled out a little bit outside of work hours, but during work hours, you watched an hour of nets? Yeah. Like, anyway, sidenote, sidenote, Okay, how about this? This wasn’t my fault. Or like, blaming it on someone else? The swap for this wasn’t my fault is I can

Alissa 30:34
help fix this. Oh, that’s great. Be so positive, be solution

Katy 30:39
oriented, not problem or blame oriented. So like, if something goes wrong in your transaction, which inevitably, it will, instead of being like telling your client, here’s the problem, here’s who’s to blame for it. Come with the, here’s how we can fix this, or how I can help fix this or how who’s going to fix this? Don’t ever show up with a problem with no potential solution? Unless there truly is no solution? Like if you have to, in the transaction? Sure. But just be like, Oh, well, that’s the other agents fault. She’s terrible. And she doesn’t keep her clients in check. And then you just like, let your client be upset? No. Here’s your favorite. Never, ever, ever, ever say I think or I feel correct. When delivering price or advice? Yes. What do we say instead?

Alissa 31:33
The data shows Yep, according to the data. The market is telling us. The buyers feedback has been you need to change your carpet. I love it. I will not I think you need to change your carpet.

Katy 31:46
Right? My, the last one that this article said was I know just instead of I think, or I feel, I know, buyers are blah, blah, blah, or but if you want to just push it off on someone I do always like the market is saying the data is showing. Like I’m not the data. I’m not the market. I’m just the deliverer of the news. And when

Alissa 32:03
there is no data, I explain that I listen to Conde recently, where there, I had to go back 30 months to find a sale. That’s and it’s not that things were listed and didn’t sell. It’s just that people haven’t really moved. And I told my client was like, Well, how do you what do you think we should listen at? And I said, here’s the thing. I can do a search. And I like to base off of data. But there has been zero data. Yeah. So I had to go outside of our bubble and look at how these are doing and compare them. And I can give you a range based on the data, right? And then we need to work together to come up with a list price based on that. Yeah, your financial goals and the data, not what I think not what I feel Yeah,

Katy 32:47
data. I also noted that the best way to get better at speaking with this type of certainty, the I know, the data shows based on the market says is to start thinking positively about yourself and what you offer. Okay. And then practice speaking these types of direct statements out loud, so you can confidently say them to others. Like just get in the habit of saying the data says the market saying the I net like just practice.

Alissa 33:14
We need to have not like a full script business affirmation. That’s right.

Katy 33:18
I know what I’m talking about. I am a good agent. The market says Your home is blah, blah, blah, whatever. Okay, are you ready for another swap? I’ll try. Don’t say Ultra.

Alissa 33:31
We’re not allowed to say that in our house. Tanner won’t let our children say that.

Katy 33:35
Oh, what do you swap at home?

Alissa 33:37
You must say I need help. Or what does he say? Like if Tate’s like I can’t I can’t do this. Or I’ll try the you know, he’s like, No, we don’t try we do. Let’s Tater. But you can ask for help. But you can’t say like, I tried. I can’t write right. I need help or I will Okay, well the

Katy 34:00
professional swap was I am confident I can get this done by insert date here. Okay, so I’ll try like I’m very busy I’ll try is gonna be I’m confident I can get this done by blank now. If you can’t get it done then I think maybe the other swap would be I’m sorry I won’t be able to help you with this. Do you not like not I’ll try gotta gotta give him the date and it could be far away if the dates really far away then go get someone else to do it correct.

Alissa 34:27
I remember being on maternity leave and saying this is when they start daycare if that date works for you let me know but I’m certainly not going to try to help you before I can’t.

Katy 34:38
Yeah, I just I won’t be able to. This is back to that. We talked about this already a little bit. I told you so like the

Alissa 34:47
ah on that note, they also said Never say even though you can say it in a tone that doesn’t sound this way. Like hey, correct me if I’m wrong. But they say don’t say that. No. No matter what, because correct me if I’m wrong means you’re not wrong. You’re wrong. Yes. And don’t correct me. So

Katy 35:06
this is a fun game where you’re like, I

Alissa 35:07
never thought that was bad. And I’m like, that’s definitely but I never would have I would have never said that. Okay, I told correct me if I’m wrong buyer, but you told me that you did not want to do like that when you do.

Katy 35:19
You said you needed to garage, right? Did anything change with your needs? Correct? Nah, there’s a better way to me if I’m correct.

Alissa 35:28
So just a joke. Correct. Sassy. Sassy is

Katy 35:32
the thing we say in the South. I feel like it’s a little sassy. I am a little sassy as well. But I’m careful with my clients. Alright, I told you so can change too. I’m glad we could figure this out together. Or just don’t bring attention to it at all. Like I told you not to list your house at 350. And now we’re having to drop it to 325. And your listing is stale. What good? Is that doing? Anyone? So

Alissa 35:55
you shouldn’t be like, per the email below where we discussed this? No, not

Katy 36:01
if you want your clients to have a positive experience where they are pleased with your service. Yeah, you can do that. Sure. You can go ahead and be right.

Alissa 36:09
And you could say I told you say don’t want to be right or don’t want to be correct me if I’m wrong. You could do all that. I don’t say it like that. But right or wrong. It is kind of like saying, okay, correct me if I’m wrong. I just thought you needed a carport, garage that is sassy. You’re gonna have to stop that. I don’t use it a lot. I find it’s totally funny. I’m also like, not the most sensitive person. So like, I had a client that texted me one time and was like, Hey, I hope my email wasn’t too harsh. Or like, like, was it harsh at all? Right? I actually had to go back and read it because I had no idea what they were talking about. You’re like, I couldn’t

Katy 36:46
sound fine to me. Which is great. No one’s gonna but it made me more aware. Because there’s a lot of deep feeling people out there. You know, like, you’re, you’re living in a world that’s hard for you. Right? It’s also hard for us the deep feeler.

Alissa 37:01
So on that note, there was some really good research about how you should mirror Oh, yeah. And that was that’s hard too. Because you know, I’m all about this is how I work best in my business. But, you know, if somebody emails you and says report attached, I’m like, thanks. But if somebody emails you and says, Hey, how are you doing? I hope everything’s going well this week. Because I bothersome for you. It’s I mean, I feel like I have to reply now. And be like, Oh, I’m doing great. The kids are good. Thank you for the report. Well,

Katy 37:39
as long as you say thank you and not thanks, you’re in the clear just be like thank you for the report. That’s why the Google

Alissa 37:44
auto respond the auto response has been so helped AI is working out great for you. It is it’s filling in the gaps of what needs but they say like if a client emails you and says report, attach, you can say thanks. You don’t even have to say thank you. I’m gonna say thank you. I know you’re practicing. But if they are fluffy, you need to be a little your throat mirror fluff. Yes. That’s a great tip. So well, we can’t matter the fluff level. Yes, we can’t match our clients. 100% also in real estate, I think it’s very important that we remember to mirror our clients excitement. Oh, yeah. I mean, we sell houses all the time. They don’t buy and sell houses. They are so excited on photo day. Yeah. When they go under contract. I mean, good news. We

Katy 38:33
baked a lot of excitement into the email templates. Yeah, there’s a lot of it in there. This is a great you selected a great house in a great location. Like,

Alissa 38:41
just like every other house. Every other house on the street. No, but my God, you know, mirror that we have to remember that. You know, we get dolt. We could get numb to it at times because it’s a sure it’s action, but you know, it’s a big deal.

Katy 38:56
Okay, this you’re gonna love this one misses. Correct me if I’m wrong. No offense, but I don’t say that. No, I assumed you did not. Okay, good. Never say that. Never personal in biz. No

Alissa 39:08
offense, there

Katy 39:09
is no swap. It’s just nothing. Yeah, don’t take anything if you need to qualify it with no offense, but it is not worth being said. You know, like what your mom said. You don’t have anything nice to say. Don’t say anything at all. Sometimes the best swap is nothing. Be quiet. How about this? Is that okay? Okay, is that okay? They said to swap this with? Is that what you had in mind? Like, okay, we’re gonna list at 400,000 Is that okay? It’s swap it to is that what you had in mind? Or let me know if I should proceed. I use that one. All the time. know if I should proceed, especially if it’s like, you know, you’re trying to decide on changing a price or repairs some sort of negotiation if I’m like the sellers have responded with blah, blah You know, this is what the data says, let me know if we should proceed. So don’t say is that okay? But because it sounds like what it sounds like it’s helped me. Yes. I don’t know what I’m doing like, is that okay? Mike will price it at 300. Is that okay?

Alissa 40:17
I think you also have to be mindful. I just was in a multiple offer situation with one of my buyers. I haven’t been in one in a minute. Okay. So I brought me back, you know, but they said, Well, we were thinking about offering, you know, 375, is that okay? And I was like, the problem is, I can’t tell you that in this situation, because you’re the one buying the house. All I can do is show you the data, we can talk about the comps, but I need to know how much you like this house. Because if you really like this house, I need you to be okay. Yeah, if I have to call you and say we did not get it. Are you okay? That was the highest you were gonna go on this power limit? I don’t want to hear oh, we should have gone 1000. Higher. Right. We have one shot.

Katy 41:09
Did you win? We did. Oh, sweet.

Unknown Speaker 41:11
Yes.

Alissa 41:12
We are so happy. I was surprised. Oh,

Katy 41:14
even better. Here’s another one. I don’t know. I’m not sure y’all. You’re going to be in showings, you’re going to be in listings, you’re going to be in client appointments, where you do not know the answer to a question they asked you frequently all the time all the time. Never Never, never, never say I don’t know. I’m not sure. And like, let that be the right. Here’s the swamp. I don’t know. But I will find out. Let me look into that. Here’s what I can tell you. Let’s reach out to blank. I think she’ll have some insight on this. So like, let’s reach out to the listing agent, she might have some insight on this or should reach out to the roofer. Right. Just I don’t know. But I will find out. You always have to be like, Oh, I you know, let me look into that for you. This

Alissa 41:56
is why I believe doing open houses as newer agents is so important. You not just people are like, Well, I never get clients from it. I didn’t get a ton of clients from open houses. But gosh, did I learn how to talk to people? Yeah, I remember my first open house, I was so nervous. I knew the square footage. I knew how old the house was, I knew all these things. And then somebody walked in and said, How many air conditioners are there? I don’t know that. So I fumbled my way through that. And then open house number two, I knew those things. And then they asked something else I didn’t know. But by open house five, and six and seven. I knew a lot more. But I also knew how to respond a lot better even when I didn’t know it. So open houses for the newer agents I think are so good. They teach you how to talk to people and learn what people are typically asking you practice on strangers. Yes. And then it doesn’t matter if you don’t do it. Then when your repeat referral comes your right hand remember one like walked out of open house and I thought Dang, I like bombed out what

Katy 43:11
was bad that was really bad to be on like sign calls before like, Oh, I did a terrible job phone duty.

Alissa 43:16
The times I’ve hung up the phone

Katy 43:17
and be like, Whoa, that was terrible. I didn’t do. I didn’t do anything I was supposed to write it happens. I can’t thank the reassuring truth here is that no one expects you to know all the answers, even though they’re asking if you know great and it’s okay to admit that you don’t have the answer right now. But you can get it. Also, you need to demonstrate your willingness to take action and find answers just be like I don’t know and let it dry like die. He just like let it I just started watching the most recent selling the OC season, okay. And in the scenes for the coming season, there’s a girl who has moved there from Nashville to become a realtor in you know, the OSI. And she does nothing and has never sold any real estate and they’re just previewing her running someone’s like, open house. And these people are asking her all these questions and she just doesn’t know the answer. And she’s just like, oh, I don’t know. Like just to everything they said oh no. Like the biggest dummy. Oh, not even Oh, let me go find out just I don’t know. I don’t know. But this couch is pretty. Like so ridiculous. Okay, but this is going to come up a lot in real estate. So I think this is a very important one to learn. I don’t know swap out to I don’t know, but I’ll find out or one of those others. I hope to hear from you soon. This one I am going to have to work on okay. All the hopes. I look forward to discussing next steps is the swap. Are Yes. I look forward to hearing from you soon. So I look forward to discussing next steps I look forward to hearing from you soon but never I hope to hear from you soon. Okay? This is a common way to in emails, especially when following up with potential new clients or customers or in follow up interview interactions, right? But ending your emails and hoping that you’ll hear from your recipient makes it sound like you think there’s a good chance you won’t hear from them. Like it makes me think at the time like just wishing and hoping and pray. Instead project confidence that the conversation will continue. I hope to hear from you soon isn’t just this is absolutely adjust right? Oh, yes. Like I hope I hope to work together and they say just hoping. Right? And I have plenty time set. I hope we get a chance to work together false. Now we’re gonna be I look forward to working together. No hoping no hoping we are speaking with confidence. Or even when you send an offer to another agent instead of I hope we get a chance to work together. Just be like I look forward to working together. Why

Alissa 45:53
do I reference he’s just not that into

Katy 45:57
my because it’s got a real, baby. So

Alissa 46:01
do you know what part I’m thinking about? When she’s determined that she’s not going to be a stalker anymore? Okay, she’s at the bar GG. She’s

Katy 46:08
leaving a message. No, no, no, she’s

Alissa 46:10
at the bar. And this having a good conversation with this guy. And he gives her his card. And he’s like, I’ll call you soon. And she goes, Oh, wait,

Katy 46:23
that’s confusing. No, no, no, no. Are you calling me as I hope I hope we get to talk again, or I hope to hear from you. And she was like that.

Alissa 46:32
That’s confusing, because you gave me your information, but then said that he was going to call so are you calling me or am I calling you? And he said, We’ll be in touch and she goes, Oh, there

Speaker 1 46:48
we go vague again. Like am I supposed to call you? And then he leaves

Alissa 46:53
and She rips up sis card? She’s like, I’m not calling him. He wants to get in touch with me.

Katy 46:58
He’ll call me he didn’t get her number. That’s what it was. Yes. And she’s like, don’t you want my number you said, You know what, call me. But then you gave me your

Alissa 47:05
card. So he’s

Katy 47:06
like, saying the

Alissa 47:10
words are so important.

Katy 47:13
We gotta go find that scene. That’s so funny. Yeah. Okay. And here’s a good one. I, because I also have said this another hope one. I hope this makes sense. Does this make sense to you? I hope this makes sense. Because your does this make sense? I’ll say that a lot. Let me know if I can answer any questions. That’s better. Well, I think this is make sense is sort of like you’re not sure if it makes sense. Or you dumb. Right? Right. You understand? You understand me? I hope this makes sense is now let me know if I can answer any questions. Okay, that’s good. That’s good. All right. Now I found another article in the EM equilibrium. I don’t know. website. So great. So when you need help, if you need help, say this. Thank you. Not that I’m sorry. When you need help, so okay, hold on. One study found that people were 10% more likely to respond to emails that included a thank you in their sign off. So rather than leading with an apology, okay, so instead of I’m sorry, can you blah, blah, blah, whatever it signifies your request is an inconvenience, make it a positive exchange, get the other person on board and even excited to help you by showing them in direct impact their help will have on their work, say for example, thank you. And it says to say thank you. Dan said we know that’s true choice, this will be a huge help and save so much time on the project. People enjoy helping others and see the payoff. So maybe there’s some I know, maybe that’s okay. There’s a neural link between generosity and happiness that makes it feel good to give to others. So for best results, keep it positive and impactful. I go with that. But they’re saying instead of I’m sorry, I’m sorry, could you blah, blah, blah. It’s Thank you, but maybe not thank you in advance. Just thank you.

Alissa 49:04
What do you think about emojis?

Katy 49:06
I like an emoji. I like that’s because of our age, I think, because I knew they’re off this

Alissa 49:14
text for sure. If I want to qualify the tone, yeah, then I think emojis are helpful. They are right, like, Haha, see, I’m not mad.

Katy 49:24
But I do think there’s probably a time and place for emojis. Yeah, text is more

Alissa 49:30
the deal is dead skull.

Katy 49:33
No, thank you. But I guess

Alissa 49:36
in an email, I would probably keep them out. I would maybe put them in a text personally. Yes, because that seems like more informed and they’re harder to do an email. If I’m sending an email from my phone. I have to resist more because you want to you can like blank stare. Yeah, you know, if you’re typing on your computer, you have to go to the emoji button and all that.

Katy 49:53
Alright, here’s one that I am going to try really hard to swap out. This is gonna be hard. For me, because I say it a lot. Do not say, no problem. It could be a problem problem. You have to swap that with happy to help. And I’m going to tell you why. It may seem harmless. But no problem is a phrase that can discredit your work, loosen your boundaries and keep you from feeling pride. By definition, it enables you to let things slide and dismiss the effort you’ve put into solving that what may have actually been a problem. And it becomes more automatic. The more you say it, and I do it all the time. That’s a good point. It says resist the impulse to brush off praise. Instead, reclaim credit words do with a phrase like I’m happy to help which I have said and I’m going to lean into, I’m happy to say that more or go Chick fil A style. My pleasure, my pleasure. Let your efforts be known and allow yourself to feel the full effects of the pride you deserve for a job well done. This might also help with our friends who struggle speaking to their value. Because if you’re constantly demeaning, it’s no problem. Yeah, well, that was a freaking problem. It was hard. Yes. And I did some work. So happy to help is what you need to do. Or My pleasure.

Alissa 51:12
That was a good one. That was a good one. Happy to help. Happy to help.

Katy 51:15
All right, when you’re stuck, are you ready? Do not say I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. Say this is from our problem solving section. Here are some options. Here’s some options. Research shows that people are more likely to help when they see you’ve put in some effort first. So your seller is more likely to bend. If you’ve given them some options. You’re not just like, well,

Alissa 51:39
price price price,

Katy 51:40
sorry, I don’t know what to do. Okay, so if you really want them to do some staging can give them some things they can hear someone options. Sure. And show your work through possible solutions to present alongside the problem by proposing a plan of action, you narrow the scope of the issue and shift into an abundance mindset, which allows you to scan for resources you may have otherwise overlooked instead of being like we’re at a dead end, this is a problem. Give some solutions or some ideas. And that is an abundance mindset. Because now they can choose from. You

Alissa 52:17
could do this or this or this or this. So many good ones. All right, when

Katy 52:21
you’ve slipped up to like you made a mistake, Alyssa, I really liked this. Don’t say this. Oops, oops, oops, my bad say this. Thanks for pointing that out. Everyone makes mistakes. While you want to take accountability for yours. You don’t need to lose credibility for a small slip

Alissa 52:38
up so you can take accountability without losing credibility. Yeah.

Katy 52:43
Over apologizing can lead others to view you as less confident and lower your own self esteem. Instead, take accountability and present your plan to fix the mishap say great catch. Great catch on the typo. I’ll fix that right away. I mean, this has happened, right? Yeah,

Alissa 53:02
that’s good. Great catch.

Katy 53:03
Great catch on the type. I will fix that right away. For example, rather than putting yourself down this approach elevates the other person and conveys something more meaningful than an apology and improvement.

Alissa 53:13
I like that. It’s elevating someone Yeah, more meaningful than an apology.

Katy 53:18
It’s an improvement.

Alissa 53:22
That’s great. Oh,

Katy 53:23
that was pretty good. Okay, I have some I’m done with all the serious stuff. Well, one last serious thing. I found a really nice chart that was helping us to be more sensitive and intentional with our words. Good. Inclusivity teach me you’re gonna love this instead of you guys.

Alissa 53:40
y’all. Y’all is acceptable, y’all. Oh, it is yeah, y’all ain’t good y’all. Y’all every time y’all

Katy 53:46
folks everyone. Okay, so bad news to all the you guys are out there. We’re allies. We’ve been in the right for years with y’all y’all y’all. Hey, y’all.

Alissa 53:54
How y’all that’s what I like to do when I’m sending that initial under contract email to the lender and title companies and listing agent or you know how y’all works? Yeah, everybody.

Katy 54:05
Are you could you all Hey, everyone. Hey, everyone. Hey, everyone. Hey, y’all, that’s fine. Especially you know,

Alissa 54:10
we just did our fair housing videos, northern friends will be like, Hey, y’all, y’all would have everyone started doing y’all sorry, from hustle humbly.

Katy 54:19
Okay, but in these are also in the context of inclusivity. So like everyone just talking about fair housing. Normal should change to typical. Like instead of using the word normal, typical, I

Alissa 54:33
use that a lot. I think our repair request template even says, I have gone through the report and put items that are typical. Yeah, for a seller equals better. Normal instead of minority underrepresented is better. That’s a great word underrepresented. Yeah. Um, instead of grandfathered legacy is better. Okay. I was like, okay, and then instead of like, designate He he’d

Katy 55:00
say, just say, hey, Alright, ready for funny stuff? Yeah. Okay, I found this like Reddit thread where they’re talking about what to say, Okay, actually, the person wrote in and was like, hey, you’ll help me, my friend and I during work meetings like during, like there’s a big room full of people having a work meeting, we try to best each other by slipping in like funny statements to see if people will notice and whoever can slip in the most without being detected wins.

Alissa 55:31
Wins the meeting or bird America’s board. Yes, yes.

Katy 55:34
The first one I read was we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it. Burn that bridge when we get to it. How would this doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Alissa 55:52
I can just see the bosses like, board for bored.

Katy 55:55
Let’s see if you can catch this one. This is all a moot point. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It’s Moo. Do you know what that’s from? No friends. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 56:05
it’s smooth to me point. Also,

Katy 56:07
I found a great graphic on Pinterest that tells me how to swap out what I want to say for things that I should say. Okay, let’s find one. Like you don’t know what the beep you’re doing. Swap for. I think you could use more training.

Alissa 56:28
That’s what I say. Like when I have another agent on the other side. Like have you asked your broker? That’s what I want to say. You don’t know what you’re doing.

Katy 56:35
Have you asked your broker? How about no beeping way? I’m certain that isn’t feasible.

Alissa 56:43
No, let’s just ask for everything on the home inspection report. Seller to make all repairs. Here’s a

Katy 56:49
good one. What the beep is just that’s interesting. That’s interesting. That’s interesting.

Unknown Speaker 56:55
You don’t say?

Katy 56:56
Okay, let’s see. Oh, god, they’re so funny. Here’s why this job sucks. I love a challenge.

Alissa 57:07
What a great mindset exercise.

Katy 57:09
Right? Like I mean, I so silly. Okay, any others that we didn’t get to? I mean, that was just so

Alissa 57:16
many so many don’t really need to follow Instagram this week. Because I think we have some fun things to

Katy 57:23
post. We’re gonna have so many things to post. Okay, are you ready for the toes?

Alissa 57:27
I am. Today is a fun one dry.

Katy 57:30
You know, wait, do you know this person? I know them both know that’s not who we’re on. Your okay, we’ve already done that. Just ignore her, too,

Alissa 57:42
because Jake can edit this out. It’s

Katy 57:44
not he’s gonna leave it. There. This toast is coming from Karla Kelly to the Women’s Council of realtors. And she’s actually in Mandeville, Louisiana. Okay, so y’all stay tuned for Carla’s toast. I hope she doesn’t use any words. She shouldn’t be.

Alissa 58:01
I just wanted to shout. I

Katy 58:03
hope we get to work together. Y’all get out there and make some swats Okay, okay, can I?

Speaker 2 58:11
Hey, I’m Karla Kelly. I’m from Zachary, Louisiana, but I live in Mandeville, Louisiana. And I’m toasting Women’s Council of Realtors, our St Tammany Parish network and REMAX Alliance in Mandeville, Louisiana. Love you. Thank

Alissa 58:25
you so much for tuning in to the hustle humbly podcast.

Katy 58:28
If you enjoy this episode, please go to rate this podcast.com/hustle humbly and leave us a review or drop a comment if you’re listening on Spotify. If

Alissa 58:36
you have an episode topic or someone you’d like to toast on the show, please email us at team at hustle humbly podcast.com

Katy 58:43
Find us on social media at hustle humbly podcast don’t forget to find all of the free resources at hustle humbly podcast.com/resources See you next week. This is the lie