256: He’s Just Not That Into You

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Who could have guessed the movie we would most often quote in reference to real estate would be “He’s Just Not That Into You”? As it turns out dating behavior parallels quite nicely to the situations we come across as agents. The romantic comedy “He’s Just Not That Into You” gives a hilarious glimpse into the complexities of relationships. This dynamic can surprisingly mirror the interactions between real estate
agents and their clients. The world of real estate is filled with mixed signals, searching for signs, waiting for the phone to ring and the desperate need for honest communication. Join us for a fun chat about the movie that got Alissa through a break-up back in the day and continues to provide wisdom for our real estate businesses now.

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The following is a rough transcript provided by Otter.ai.

Alissa 0:01
There’s a few people you know throughout the course of my career that did not get added to the database because I’m like, I do not care to work with you again, right? They are the ones that come back.

Katy 0:11
They never forget you. My high efficiency dryness is no reflection on how charming I am in person.

Alissa 0:20
We should all do our due diligence before we start stalking someone. I almost feel like that sentence should be like in my email signature or something. I’m not charming via I’m not charming via text. Hi y’all welcome to hustle. Humbly. It’s Alyssa and Katie and we are two top producing realtors in the Baton Rouge market. We

Speaker 1 0:42
work for two different companies where we should be competitors, but we have chosen community over competition. The

Alissa 0:47
goal of our podcast is to encourage you to find your own way in business. So

Speaker 1 0:51
stop comparing yourself and start embracing your strengths. Hi, Alyssa. Hey, Katie. Welcome to episode 256,

Alissa 0:58
Happy Fourth of July.

Unknown Speaker 1:00
Well, that’s this week, correct? And he and I don’t even know what

Alissa 1:04
to call this. We’re not sure yet, but we thought it would be fun to do a fun one this week, lighthearted, yeah, movie review, not really. You may or may not know this about me. You do. I do the listeners that I have a gift of being able to give a movie scene to pretty much any situation. I love that.

Katy 1:28
I love that. And just if you had told me at the beginning of the podcast four years ago that the movie you would most commonly quote in talking about real estate would be, he’s just not that into you? Yes, I would have been like, no way. Yeah, turns out it works out great.

Alissa 1:46
It’s so funny. Okay, so we’re gonna turn a deep dive into there’s a lot of parallels with this movie in real estate,

Speaker 1 1:53
I would say. I’m gonna give a summary for those who haven’t seen it. And let’s go back even further in time it was a book. Yes, he’s just not that into you. Is it a self help book? It’s not fiction. There’s

Alissa 2:05
a fiction book, and then there is a separate book called, it’s called a breakup because it’s broken, okay, got me through my breakup of 2009 great. So wonderful. It’s more self healthy, but it’s, like, really motivational and, like, it’s just awesome. All right, but I just like the movie. And, you know, you can listen to this and watch the movie, and there’s not, technically, like, spoilers, no, not at all. Like, not just a movie that you can watch 100 times. Yeah, it’s,

Katy 2:34
it’s a rom com classic now, yeah, and I love a rom com me too. It’s so funny. All right, give us those. Give us the synopsis.

Alissa 2:44
Okay, Baltimore based friends and lovers, all in their 20s and 30s, are trying to navigate their way through the complexities of modern relationships. Okay, there’s a few couples in this movie, yes, Beth, played by Jennifer Aniston. Correct is dating Neil, who is Ben Affleck, and Beth wants to get married, yeah, and they’ve been together seven years, seven years, and Neil doesn’t. Neil is like, I don’t, I don’t want to get married. I don’t believe in it, right? The main character is Gigi, Jennifer Goodwin. Love her, and she is tired of waiting around for the right guy, she’s always waiting by the phone. She’s

Katy 3:24
like the poster child for unrequited love. Yes, just she loves them all. No one loves her back. Yes. Okay,

Alissa 3:32
then we have Mary played by Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore, me too. I just love her movies. So she has a slew of supportive friends who are supporting her in her journey to find love online, she’s

Katy 3:45
being rejected over multiple platforms, multiple different PLA, oh,

Alissa 3:50
sorry about that, multiple different platforms and love is not going well. Okay? Meanwhile, the last couple is Janine, who is married to Bradley Cooper in

Unknown Speaker 4:06
oh my gosh, cheats McGee, cheats

Alissa 4:07
McGee, and he cannot trust himself. She has a right to have trust issues with Bradley Cooper, right? Because he’s in love with Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett Johansson, so that kind of gives you the the overview, another quick overview that I found, just to help tie it up, is that, let me read this to you. Okay, the romantic comedy, he’s just not that into you, provides a humorous yet insightful look into the complexities of relationship. This dynamic can surprisingly parallel the interactions between real estate agents and their clients. I would say, okay, while this is a funny episode, next week, we are going to do a more helpful episode to follow. If you will follow up to this. But sometimes we just need to not take ourselves so seriously, fun and fluff. We just need to, I mean, helpful, because I think that this is look real estate. There’s a lot of nuggets, and he’s just not that into you. So many nuggets. So yes, and this, just as in romantic relationships, the world of real estate is full of mixed signals. We are always looking for signs and the need for honest communication. You’re

Katy 5:30
always desperate for your clients to call you back, or the leads you’re like, which is it too soon to call again? Right?

Alissa 5:36
Should I call again? What should I say? Right?

Katy 5:38
What should I say? Okay, are you? Let’s just dive right in. Then. Are

Alissa 5:42
you ready? Yeah.

Katy 5:43
Because when, when you talk about that, what should I say? At one point, Gigi decides to call back someone she met out, okay? And she’s gonna, and she’s gonna leave a voicemail, and she shows up with papers. She’s like, got it all written out, exactly what she wants to say on this voicemail. Now, y’all, what year Can you check and see what year the movie came out? Because they’re using real corded phones in a lot of this movie, which cracks me up now, because 2009 they Okay, 2009 oh, it was literally when you were having your breakup issues. Yes, okay, great, yes, that’s why you’re so attached to it. Okay, so they do have cell phones in the movie, but they also have definite landlines. Okay, so here’s Gigi at work. She’s got her her papers ready, and she’s going to call and leave a message for this guy that she met out and she starts going through her script and realizes that, like, a page is missing, and she’s like, fumbling. And then she starts saying some of the most wild and inappropriate things, and just kind of like, gets really flustered and hangs up, and it totally reminds me of like a sign call, or the bad Open House lead we talked about recently. It’s just like, oh, oh, that went so bad. And then you’re just like, just drop it

Alissa 6:56
that. Just drop it, just stop, just that. Is why, when I was newer, I really appreciated phone duty agents that would give me their sign calls and open houses. Yeah, you need the practice. I could practice on strangers without hindering any important relationship, right? You didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of someone you knew. Yeah. So, So Gigi, we are going to portray her as the desperate real estate agent. She

Unknown Speaker 7:23
is absolutely that she

Alissa 7:24
must find a client, and she is going to force it to happen, right,

Katy 7:30
right? She is not going to take any of the signs if they’re like, I didn’t get approved. Yeah. She was like, I don’t care. I’m going to show you how moving to another city. It doesn’t matter. She is, like, we are gonna do this. The other funny thing about this movie is that there are quite a lot of actual real estate scenarios in it, because one of the main characters, Connor, is an as a realtor. Yeah. So that comes up a few times. One of the other couples is doing like, a home renovation. So there’s like, home Reno stuff happening. So I think it is funny just to see like little real estate

Alissa 8:04
nods pop up in the movie. And I do think because of all these real estate nods, it has made me think in terms of real estate when I’m watching it. And there’s so much to learn from Gigi. Okay, she is very anxious. She is taking anything. If Gigi was an agent, her sign would say, call Gigi 24/7 Yes, like she would be the 24/7 agent. There is no boundary. Not there. She’s

Katy 8:34
answering calls from the shower. Yes, yoga, yoga. She’s

Alissa 8:37
checking her phone. Check out that reel we made on Instagram when we were at the beach. It’s all inspired by Gigi. It was inspired by Gigi me in the shower. Like, hello, hello, hello. I love when she’s like, Hello, Mom, mom, I gotta call you back. Yeah, I’m waiting on a call. I’m waiting on a call. I cannot talk to you, mom, because my client might call me right now. And also, Gigi has these friends that we already talked about. And I thought this was interesting too, because real estate agents love to get advice and talk out their problems, uh huh, and sometimes the advice you were given is maybe not always the best advice coming from the best place, right? You know your friends care about you, but you really need to find your own way. And what works in the movie they say, she says, What if I’m the exception? And he tells her, No, you’re the rule. So if you’re going to seek advice from your real estate friends, and they just keep giving you these obscure stories of how it worked out one time. Yes, don’t listen to that. So Alex, in the movie, is a bartender, and he witnesses some of gigi’s failed attempt wild behavior, yes, and so he has sort of, he feels sorry for her. He says she’s like a lost puppy. He wants to take her in under his wing and be like, it’s gonna mentor her. Yeah, I’m gonna try to mentor you. Love. Yeah. So he’s trying to tell her, like, if a guy acts like a total jerk, he doesn’t like you, right? If he wants to call you, he will Right? Like, if your buyer keeps calling other agents to show them homes, they’re not your buyer, correct? You might need to have a discussion with them or let them go. Yes, stop trying to hang on. What I liked about our notes for this episode is so much of it reminds me of the episode we did on like, cleaning out your database, and how sometimes you just need to take some people off of the database to make room for better. Yes, someone was a terrible client. They don’t need to be on your database to communicate with regularly. Agree. Just let them go. Open yourself up for something. Let them be fair. Yeah. So in the movie Connor, who is the real estate agent, this

Katy 10:56
is the beginning of the movie. Wait before you go to this one. Okay, while you’re still letting people go from your database. Here’s the quote that goes with that. He’s telling her all the people to like this guy’s not into you, this guy’s not into you. She said, so what? I’m just supposed to run from every guy that doesn’t like me? He says, Yeah. She says, there’s not gonna be anybody left. Nobody’s gonna be left if you think, if you’re gonna take someone off your database, if you’re gonna impose your boundaries, if you’re gonna walk away from clients that are showing you red flags, you’re like, there’s not gonna be anybody left. I

Alissa 11:24
walked away from all these serial killers, then I’m not gonna have anybody left to show houses too, yeah, but you’ll live

Unknown Speaker 11:30
Yes, yes, and it will be better,

Alissa 11:33
you know. Okay, good job. Good point, right? So in the very beginning of this movie, Connor, real estate agent is on a date with Gigi. She thinks it went very well, right? I love this part too, because Connor is like, I’m a real estate agent. And she’s like, oh, like, a cheesy one with with your face on a park bench, yeah? Do you have your face on Park and he was like, no, no. Just like, you know, Frisbees, right? Just like, Oh, okay. And Connor. Sweet Connor, he’s not only desperate, he’s also desperate in his journey for love, correct, but he’s also desperate in his real estate career. He’s trying anything, anything he even tries to make himself extra metrosexual to He’s appealing. Embrace his feminine side in San Francisco, Baltimore, they’re

Unknown Speaker 12:20
in Baltimore. Yes. Random, okay, yes.

Alissa 12:22
So the date ends, and he’s like, Okay, well, it was nice meeting you, Gigi, and they’re walking away, and she’s all giddy, calling her friend to say how great it went. And Connor is immediately calling Anna, who is the girl that he’s obsessed with. He is in love with Anna, and that says good old Scarlett Johansson, yes, Connor and Scarlett Johansson. So it’s just the reminder I wrote down. This is when agents say buyers are liars, the buyers are liars.

Katy 12:52
He acted like he had such a great time. It’s like, it’s like this, you go to the listing interview and like, they acted like they were gonna give you the listing. They listed it was someone else. They just

Alissa 13:01
listed it with somebody else. It went so well. I answered all their questions. Went so well. I thought we had a connection. You didn’t. And then, you know, he just leaves. But Anna is not treating Connor well. She just likes to use Connor, right? They she will not commit to him. No, she’s gonna call all the agents. She’s gonna call every agent says this, look, I

Katy 13:26
have an agent, but I was wondering if you’d showed me the house. Yeah, we’ll probably

Alissa 13:30
be honest with you about it, just like that. You know, I have someone, but was gonna see if you could show me the house, right? And I think about like, when you’re you’re trying to decide, do I call this? You’re trying to follow up with your leads, your your clients, and how much is too much? Do I need to touch people 37 times a year? Connor would, right? Connor is a 37 toucher.

Katy 13:52
Here’s the quote from the movie that goes with this. Okay, all I’m saying is that if a guy doesn’t call me, I would like to reserve the right to call him at 15 minute intervals until he picks up. Yeah, that’s your 33 touch system. Yeah, I just want to call. I hate caller ID, like just calling over and over and over again, or emailing over and over, or that whole just keep asking till you get a no, yeah. I don’t know if that’s ever been the vibe I was going for. In my business, right?

Alissa 14:19
There’s a lot of coaches and mentors keep calling till

Katy 14:23
they say no or they hang up on you. I’m like, Yes, that’s not how I’m gonna do that.

Alissa 14:26
Yes, you need to just call until you have an answer. But the problem is, and this is sort of how it was when I had the Dave Ramsey leads. You know, it was great for the beginning, but as I got busy, they never, ever, ever wanted me to remove anyone from the database? And I’m like, well, this person has been in here for four years, and they have never they’re just, they’re just not that into me, but they wanted me to continue calling, calling, calling, and once I started letting go of old phone numbers and focused on the ones that had answered before. Where the success rate went up so much more take the cues they’re giving you. Yeah? So Connor shows up at Alex’s house. Okay, so in this movie, like everybody, everyone knows each other, everyone ends up being friends. It’s like a web of friends. So Alex shows up at his I mean, Connor shows up at his friend, Alex’s house. The bartender, he’s like, Yeah, Anna’s gave me the old she’s gonna call me back. And Alex was like, oof, like, How long ago was that? He looks at his watch, 27 minutes ago. Creepy. I think you’re a little stalkerish. And he says, Should I call her back? And Alex is like, no, absolutely not. You should absolutely not. He said, Well, I’m gonna call her back and say I’m going to bed. Why? Why would you do that? I’m gonna say, in case you were going to call me back, don’t because I’ll be sleeping. I’ll be sleeping. I’ll be sleeping. And Alex says, Oh, are you gonna, you know, call her back again in the morning to say I am awake now and I am available to take your call. It’s like, he’s making fun of Connor. And Connor’s like, Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 16:04
I’ll do that. That’s a great, great. That’s

Alissa 16:06
another reason to call great idea. Alex is the only voice of reason in this movie, right? Alex is trying to help everybody interpret the human behavior, correct? But nobody, seems to listen. And in the meantime, before we move on to the next scene, Gigi is still thinking Connor’s gonna call her. Yeah, jeez. And she is checking her voicemail at home. This is when she has her phone at yoga. She won’t talk to her mom in case Connor beeps in Connor’s never gonna call never. And so she decides I’m gonna do a pop by to the bar. She calls her friend Janine, who is married to Bradley Cooper, and says, Okay, Janine, you I’m leaving you this voicemail, and you have one minute to pick up, and if you don’t answer, I’m going to pop by the pub that he’s always at, so if you don’t answer, I’m going, well, Janine doesn’t answer, and Gigi decides to be creepy and just show He’s creeping in person. Now this reminds me, like, how awkward I feel when Gigi does this is how I feel about door knockers. Oh, right. Like you’re just at home, doing your dishes, and someone

Katy 17:22
knocks on the door, any type of person, anyone, yeah, anyone. You’re like, Hi, thanks for popping. That’s

Alissa 17:27
when you hide. Yeah, you hide. Dive down, yeah. You turn off the lights, you hide.

Katy 17:35
Why are they at the door? Why are they at the door? Yeah, but the good news is when she shows up, she meets Alex, and that’s when he takes her under his wing and is going to teach her all the ways of the world, yes, the dating world. And he says, Gigi,

Alissa 17:49
he is never gonna call you, right? Okay. No, go ahead and Gigi says, But, but maybe he will. Maybe he’s out of town, to which Connor says he’s a realtor. I mean, Alex says His job is to be in town. His job is to be in town. He’s a realtor. He’s found out. And Gigi says, well, well, maybe his grandma died, or maybe he lost my number or got hit by a cab. And Alex goes, No, he did not call because he is not interested in seeing you again.

Katy 18:21
Yeah, and then this, this revelation, keeps her up all night, realizing that she has just misthought her entire dating life. She

Alissa 18:29
is reevaluating everything she has ever known because he kept telling her, if a guy doesn’t call you he doesn’t want to.

Katy 18:40
There are any listeners out there that have stumbled on the podcast and then had a moment where they’re like, wait, what? This isn’t like anything that I’ve been told before,

Alissa 18:51
right? Yeah. Like, keep you up all night, everything I did before, all different things, you know. And I also like how Alex told her, and if he wants to call you, he will find a way, right like, if he’s into you, he will find a way to call you. He said, I once called 37 Lauren bells before I got the right one. That’s commitment. That is commitment. And it just, you know, I was laughing the other day because there’s a few people you know throughout the course of my career that did not get added to the database because I’m like, I do not care to work with you again, right? They are the ones that come back. They never forget you. They never you’re like, hi, and I’m like, goodness,

Unknown Speaker 19:33
I didn’t try to follow up.

Alissa 19:36
But then I find when they come back, it’s usually, like, a few years later, and I know that I didn’t want but I’m also like, tougher now. So I’m like, let’s try this again, and I’m gonna be the boss. Yeah, you’re not gonna intimidate me. That’s a good plan. But I love how she’s just like, if a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to, and she goes, Really, always, always. Ways, you are not the exception. It’s

Katy 20:02
like if they clicked the button on Zillow and got you, they’re going to click the button again, yeah, and get someone else. And you know,

Alissa 20:10
whenever we did the buyer episode for consumers, that’s the episode that we made to sort of help our buyers understand, like how to tell their clients the buyer rules and things like that. Well, it upset a few people who do pay Zillow because they didn’t want to say, Well, don’t go to Zillow because they’re like, well, that’s how they found me, right? In my discount, their trust in me, right? I don’t want to just but here’s the thing, if your client found you on Zillow or any other online or any other online way, it is even more important that they understand the buyer rules, because they have already shown that they have the behavior of clicking the button online, yeah. So you need to say, look, now that we have been matched and found each other, then you don’t need to click anymore. I’m your person now. I feel like

Katy 21:08
the institution of required buyer agreements should help this behavior, right? Like you’re really gonna have a better buyer consult regardless of where you got your lead, yeah, so hopefully that will go away. Yeah, the buyer rules need to be covered. Okay. Now, after Gigi meets Alex at the bar, and he’s telling her all the ways of the world the next day, she’s telling retelling her girlfriends, this is what’s really going on. We have been following all these exception stories. They say this, Alex, was he hot? And she’s like, No, he was just right. He

Alissa 21:45
was just right. It makes so much sense. I love the scene when Gigi is telling Janine about her date with Connor, and she said, You know, I really can’t believe he hasn’t called yet. He said it was so nice to meet you. Like, talk about reading into something, yeah. And Janine is like, Well, did he say it at the beginning of the date or at the end of the date? And she’s like, the end. And Janine is like, well, maybe it was the beginning. Maybe it was telling herself any story. It was the beginning. And Janine is like, okay, okay, maybe it’s fine. And, um, she said, But you know, if it was at the end of the date, it could be a blow off, yeah, like, like, it was nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hi, but it’s like, how many times have you thought I just talked to someone at an open house for 20 minutes? So great. It went so well. They said it was really great to meet me. I gave them my card. They’re gonna call. They toss in the dress they’re gonna call. It could be a blow off. Could be could be

Katy 22:45
okay. Also, Janine mentions that she she’s the one who set up Gigi and Connor to start with, because Connor was janine’s real estate agent, correct? And she says, I always do my due diligence before I set someone up. I’m like, we should all do our due diligence.

Alissa 23:03
We should all do our due diligence before we start stalking someone. Don’t stock it all. Don’t stalk it.

Katy 23:11
Which leads me to my next quote, which is, now you have to go around checking all these portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. Yes, there’s so many ways for you to talk to your clients and for them to find you. For the record,

Alissa 23:24
I know this. This is a quote from our friend Mary, also known as Drew Barrymore, who is trying her darndest to online date. Let’s talk about Mary for a little please. Love Okay, so her, her quote is, her full quote is, I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my back Blackberry, and so I texted to his cell, and then he emailed me to my home account, and the whole thing just got out of control, and I missed the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine, and that answering machine has one cassette tape, and that one cassette tape either had a message from the guy or it didn’t. And now you have to go through all around checking different portals just to be rejected by separate different technologies, different technologies, exhausting. And I didn’t write this down, but she says in the movie, you know, everybody just wants to text. I’m not charming via text, right? I almost feel like that sentence should be, like in my email signature or something. I’m not charming via I’m not charming via text. People think I’m short or blunt or rude or whatever. I don’t mean to be I’m just Mary. I understand. I’m not charming via text either, right? Mary is having trouble making all these connections. And this is also why I preach the email thing, because when somebody does message me on Instagram or Facebook or sends me a text, I always try to say, like, Oh, awesome. Send me more information about your house to my email and i’ll send you my next step email, like I’m. Trying to direct them somewhere that I won’t lose them. I want to deepen this relationship, so I need to get you out of social media world and into my email so that I now have your email address and we can communicate professionally, professionally. But I also wonder if your email needs a little disclaimer, my high efficiency dryness is no reflection on how charming I am in person. You know what I mean? Like

Katy 25:26
this, email may seem short. My emails and texts may be short and to the point, but in person, I’m a pure delight. Yes, I’m

Alissa 25:33
quite charming. I’m so shocked once you get to know me, once you get to know me, oh my gosh. So Mary had a situation in the movie that I I had in real life. Yeah, quiet, please tell us. So Mary gets to work, and her friends are like, well, well, did he, you know? And she’s like, he asked me out. And they’re like, yay. She’s like, well, he, uh, he myspaced me. And they’re like, Oh, yeah. This is actually not the example I was going with. There’s a second one, but, and they’re like, oh. And she’s like, Oh, is is that bad? And they’re like, yeah, they said MySpace was like, not a it’s bad for your reputation. Like, you don’t want to be found there, okay? And I thought, Wow, that’s so interesting, because there’s certainly places that like you don’t want to get your business from okay, you know. So she says that she went on a quote unquote date. They had quote unquote coffee, okay, but, well, we, we, we zoom, chatted while holding coffee, and he had a show. We had a digital date. And they’re like, Okay? And she’s like, well, they’re like, did he call yet? And she’s like, well, I don’t know. I haven’t checked my messages. And they’re like, Come on, let’s check the messages. And she’s like, No, no. It was just last night. I’m sure he hasn’t called. So they call her voicemail and it’s like, you have two messages, and she’s thinking, they’re all excited, and it’s him in his guitar, and he’s singing, and he’s like, Mary, she’s reading, and everyone is like, and it’s like, Mary, Mary. Like, wrote this whole song about Mary, and she’s like, and they’re like, he’s perfect. This is amazing. And then it’s like, you know the next message, and it’s like, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. And then it’s like, oh, oh, wait, what number did i Oh? Like, all the same number twice. Andrew Barrymore is just like, she’s like, I am so over this. Okay, so my real life scenario, you, I was with you when this happened. I got an email from a buyer that I had been talking to for a while. She was a referral from a very good friend of mine, and she did not live here in the state. She’s moving here, and I get an email from we’ve been communicating for a while. I have her set up on a search like everything’s going great. Approaching her trip here, I get an email from her that’s like, hey, thanks so much for all the help so far. Can’t wait to meet you in person. I’ll be in town on these dates. Like, let me know how your schedule looks, what houses you want to see, and I can’t wait to meet you. Well, it’s to me and another agent, two agents to two agents. Like, you’re meeting both of us, and I’m like, you’re talking to someone else after all this. BCC, do you though? Well, I called her and she’s like, Oh, I meant to blind copy. You

Unknown Speaker 28:33
wait. Okay, I forgot that part. Yeah. She thought she was BCC, ing, two different she

Alissa 28:37
was totally like, Jude, who did this to Mary and then admitted it on the voicemail. Like, Oh, oops. Used all that. What did she say? Wait,

Unknown Speaker 28:46
give me more. Give me more. What did she say?

Alissa 28:48
So she was like, Oh, well, I just thought, you know, I would meet both of you and let both of you show me houses and then make a decision

Katy 28:56
on what the house or the person I don’t know. Okay? And I just said, look,

Alissa 29:02
it’s just not how it works. You really need one person representing you, one person that shows you every house that you want to see. Yeah, and actually, and I thought, you know, at this point, because, look, I knew the other agent. I was like, it’s a really good agent. I was kind of getting in my head that maybe she’s better anyway. Like, maybe I should just Larry, I should just let her have this I’m just, I was upset in this moment and didn’t realize that this was even going on the past several weeks. Like, I just had no idea I was being, like, cheated on. You were being led on, led on to believe I was the one and only. Jenny, it was not a monogamous really. There wasn’t Jenny. Okay, more. So I, you know, I thought she’s just gonna go with the other one, because she’s, like, so much fluffier and sweeter. And I was just really in my head for some reason about this. And then she ended up choosing me. Oh, and I asked why? What made you make your decision? And she said, I just really appreciated that you explained to me how the business works, right? I did not know, like, I just thought you go with whatever, right? Like interview. And I said, Yes, you you should interview, right? But you may not depend. You have to pick one. You cannot have both of us working for you full time, and then one of us never gets paid. I don’t want to do that to the other agent. I don’t want it done to me. Yeah, and I think it’s only going to make your life more complicated. Did you and the other agent ever speak? Yeah? And

Unknown Speaker 30:33
how did that go? Well,

Alissa 30:35
we obviously saw that each other were both on the email, okay? And so she was like, Well, what should we do? And I was like, Well, I don’t know, like, I think we should call her and just be direct. And she felt the opposite. She was like, I don’t want to call she was like, No, I just, I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to make her feel awkward. And I I felt that way too, but I more felt like this needed to be right, yeah, yeah. Okay, so, um, I said, I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet. And she was like, Okay. And we kind of just agreed to do our own thing and not necessarily communicate with each other. Like I wasn’t gonna call her back and be like, Look, I talked to her and told her, You must use me, because I never did that. No, I honestly thought I was gonna get said, you have to use someone. Yeah, you need to pick. You need to pick. And so she appreciated my straightforwardness, is what she said. And so she ended up working with me, and I sold her her home,

Katy 31:31
great, and no other follow up from the other agent after, she

Alissa 31:34
ended up being like, Hey, did you ever find her house? Like, months after we had closed, and I was like, Yeah, we did. She’s like, Good. I’m glad it worked out. So she was very kind about it. It was just one of those things where it was no fault of either agent, definitely not. It was just a client that sort of muddied the waters, but there’s no point in that hurting me and the other agents relationship, agree. But you know, Mary is like, if you’re trying to make yourself seem more attractive and available to people. You don’t go get a haircut, you update your profile picture. She was just like, how do we do this in the digital world? Right? Like Mayor poor sweet Mary, is trying to figure this all out. And I thought that, I think sometimes agents are so concerned with putting themselves out there, they spend more time creating a flyer, a billboard, a social media post, when maybe you need to actually step back from that a little bit and get in like the real live people world, right, to make some real connections. That’s a good tip. Beyond the

Katy 32:39
tech, beyond the tech. Poor Gary, Get beyond the tech. Oh, poor Mary, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Can I go back to the beginning of the movie? Yeah, there’s a scene with Anna where she’s the grocery when she meets Bradley Cooper, and she they’re both going to check out the same time. He’s like, You go ahead, no problem. Then you’ve you’ve done this one on the podcast before. She’s checking out before him. It really was his turn, but he’s nicely, lets her go. And then the cashiers like, oh, I can’t believe this. She’s like, What? She’s like, you’re our 1,000th customer this month. You’ve won our Fall Fest whatever. And it she hates chess. She hands her this ridiculous ice chest with a sticker on it for, like, fall whatever. And, and we were all like, Okay, this is so silly. And then Anna’s like,

Alissa 33:24
Oh my God,

Katy 33:26
I’ve never had anything before. This is so amazing. She’s so over the top excited about it. And it totally reminds me of like you finally get a new client, like you’ve been waiting. You’re like, I’m gonna do everything. And then someone shows up and they’re like, I think I might want to buy and you’re like, oh my god, I’m so excited. You drop everything else. You don’t care about your anything, all your consistency, all the other things you were doing your business. You’re just like, I’m just gonna focus on this one client, because I’m so

Alissa 33:52
excited. I’m gonna stop everything that led me to this point, finally landing my client.

Katy 33:59
I’ve never won anything before. So funny. So funny. Okay, also our friends, Janine, and what’s, what’s Bradley Cooper’s name? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. They’re doing this renovation, nuts. I don’t know. He cheats. McGee is what I’m gonna call him. Okay? But they’re doing this renovation at their house that they bought. They Ben, okay, Ben, and she’s discovered that something’s going on, right? She thinks he’s smoking. Yes, right? She thinks that he has picked up smoking, and she’s super mad about it, and he’s lying to her, have you been smoking, right? And he just keeps telling her, no. But then they’re wondering though the rows of Home Depot trying to pick out flooring. And he she, he’s like, she’s like, What do you think about these two woods? And he’s like, Well, I mean, or he’s like, look at these two. And she’s like, Well, I mean, this one is real wood and this one is like, laminate. She’s like, I just don’t like the way it’s pretending to be wood. Just correct me, like, I don’t like the way it’s pre. Tending to be

Alissa 35:00
wood. Just be up front. Would be what you are. She’s

Katy 35:05
trying to, like, be honest, insinuate something about him and the smoking using

Alissa 35:09
laminate flooring,

Katy 35:10
yeah, just be honest. Just I don’t like the way it’s pretending to be wood. I would love to say that in a showing, like, you roll in and they’re like, what kind of floor is? I’d be like, it’s laminate. I just don’t like the way it’s pretending to be wood, or like wood, look, tile.

Alissa 35:26
I don’t like the wood. Look, yeah, that means you’re pretending pretending to be wood.

Katy 35:33
Oh my gosh. Okay. And then there’s the scene when Neil and Beth something goes down in their apartment. And I look over and I don’t think you notice this, they have a piece of art in their apartment, and it has huge bold letters, should, and then, should, should, should, should. It’s just the art only says should. Oh my god, see if you can find it. I don’t know that’s amazing.

Alissa 35:56

Speaker 1 35:58
we always say don’t let anyone shoot on you. Yeah, good art.

Alissa 36:03
And we haven’t talked too much about Neil. Oh, sweet, Neil and Beth. And, you know, like we said, Beth has been dating Neil a long time, a long time, and he won’t get married. And it’s like, sometimes we just have those coins, yeah, it’s the buyer that will never buy the house, the buyer that will never see 100 houses. And then you’re finally gonna have to be like, listen, yeah,

Katy 36:23
don’t you think you’re ever gonna buy a house? Are you we have to break up?

Alissa 36:27
Did I ever tell you this story about this girl who was referred to me by like, one of my sisters or something, wanted to buy a house? Okay? I show her houses, and she’s constantly taking pictures. Fine, fine. You know these young kids these days, take the photos. Take the photos. Yeah. So, I mean, we, I started feeling like something was off when we found, like, two that she passed on that were the right, the right, all the criteria, the right one, okay, I finally just had to say, Listen, are like, we need to figure out if you’re gonna buy something, because we’ve passed up two that I don’t think we’re gonna be able to top okay. And she basically admitted to me that she is not gonna buy a house, and that she has been posting like she was, she had just been dumped, and she was like posting all these things on her Instagram, like trying to make her life look so great. Wait a minute, now that he’s gone, wait a minute. She used you. She used me to she said it

Katy 37:32
to stage a home purchase for the social medias. Yes,

Alissa 37:37
she said it. It didn’t really start off that way, like she made a lot of big changes. You know, she got dumped by the love of her life. She, you know, needed this movie. Yeah, she’s working out. She’s looking her best. She’s switching jobs, upgrading her life. And then she’s like, You know what, I’m gonna buy a house that’ll show him how successful I am. So she got pre approved and everything. You remember what her profession was. She was a nurse. Okay, so she got pre approved and everything decent budget. I mean, she’s single, she’s young, she’s a new nurse, so it’s fine, we can find something, and we did, but she wouldn’t buy them. And she said that like she was enjoying so much like being like house hunting today, and just like Realtors do Saturday showings, it’s like looking at houses today. Hope I find the one like just making it look like she’s living her best life. And she said, I didn’t think I was not gonna buy something, but I realized I’m not gonna I’m not right now. Like, I don’t know if I’m gonna be here next year. I’m like, well, we can’t look at houses anymore. Sweet thing,

Unknown Speaker 38:47
Did she apologize? Yeah, she

Alissa 38:49
was like, I’m sorry. Like, I really didn’t mean for it to start off that way. It just sort of happened. And while she was just enjoying being able to post it,

Katy 39:00
she would have hurt my feelings less if she was like, I just if she would have said, I just enjoyed spending time with you, but she wasn’t even she was really using you. Yeah, she

Alissa 39:08
was like, thank you. You’ve taught me so much. She was sweet about it, but, but you know, Beth tells Neil, if you’re not gonna marry me, then you just need to stop being nice to me. Make this easier for me? Yeah? She’s like, I’ve got to walk away. Yeah. You’re like, well, you would, it’d be better if you were nice to me. Stop making these showing so much fun, right? And Neil said, and Neil says, No, I mean, I do like you. I just don’t believe in marriage. And she’s like, that’s BS. It’s BS to every buyer who said they were not ready to buy a home, and then six months later, they post a picture on Facebook, on it with another agent, with another agent. It’s disgusting. It’s the same thing. It’s the same thing. And Beth chose to walk away from the love of her life of seven years. And you know, sometimes when. We do that you’re the exception, like Beth was in this movie, and they come back, okay, but the rule is that they don’t come back. And you know what? That is? Okay? That’s right, okay, that’s okay. Oh, my word. So funny. So funny.

Katy 40:17
I it really is worth a watch if you’ve not seen the movie, I highly recommend it. Yes, so funny. So funny. Would you?

Alissa 40:26
Would you like to hear some conclusions, or please give me the end? Okay, so I guess a little bit of a spoiler, but it doesn’t matter Alex, who is making fun of gigi’s behavior and her desperation and her shameless acts of embarrassing herself and putting herself out there. Finds himself falling in love with Gigi, and she, they get into a fight, and he says some things, and she he hurts her feelings, and so she stops calling in. She’s like, our friendship is over, but now he’s realized he wants to talk to her, so he’s at work, thinking about her, and is calling her, and it shows like her phone ringing in her empty house, because she’s out. She’s like living her life, you know. But his voice fell, so I was hoping to talk to you, obviously, but you’re out, I guess. So just call me sometime, or tonight, I’m around. Yeah, I’ll be around. That’s that’s not now because, you know I’m at work. But, oh, hey, it’s Alex, okay. Bye. And it sort of reminded me of the say this, not that episode where we call these cold leads and say, just checking in, just seeing if there’s anything you need help. Well, I’m not doing anything at all. I’m not busy. Don’t have a single client. Call me. Call Me Maybe, which is what we’ll talk about next week. But you know what, Gigi, when she was in the fight with Alex, she says, You know what, Alex, I would rather be like me than be like you. And he says, What is that supposed to mean? She says, I may dissect every little thing and I may put myself out there, but at least I’m trying. She’s trying. I still care. And you have so many clients that they’re just expendable to you. Oh, you don’t like that client. You have another one. Well, you know what? I don’t. So you may not get hurt or make a total fool of yourself the way I do. But you also don’t get good clients that way. You have not won, Alex, you are alone. I may do a lot of stupid stuff, but I’m still a lot closer to being successful than you are perfect. And so also, at the end, Mary, are

Unknown Speaker 43:03
you gonna spoil this movie? Yeah, the whole thing,

Alissa 43:06
I have to see it through. It’s from 2009 if you haven’t seen it yet, then, I mean, I’m sorry, but I’m like, Fine, go walking us through till the end. Finish. Okay. So at the end, Mary, who can’t get off the technology, and Connor who, Connor got to a place with Scarlett Johansson, where he’s still pursuing her. She’s just dragging him on, dragging him on. She even agrees to date him, but she doesn’t really want to. She’s just trying to get back at Bradley Cooper. So he does, Connor does with her, what we tell y’all to do with your clients is you just need to ask what you’re thinking. Yes, yes. Good plan. So he finally just got to the point where he’s tired of tiptoeing around his feelings. Right

Katy 43:55
on to her, yeah, this point, yes. And they finally

Alissa 43:59
he’s just like, listen, Anna, do you like me? Like, are we gonna take this to the next level? And she’s just like, No, I can’t. And you know what, even though Connor is sad, he has this sense of like, relief, right, freedom, and this, at least, is over, I am not following up with you anymore. I know that you’re never Yeah, I just need to let you go. So at the end, it shows Mary at a coffee shop, and she looks across the room and in the same coffee shop is Connor, who she has never met but recognizes from doing his real estate ads for the newspaper, right, right, right, right. So she calls him on the phone, and he answers. And she’s watching him answer, and she’s like, Hey, I’m looking at your ad in the paper right now, and it looks really good. And he’s like, you think you don’t think it’s like too much. And she’s like, I mean, it’s not really. You, but I think what you’re wearing right now is definitely more your style. And he’s like, Oh, you can see me. You can see me. And she’s like, Yeah. And he looks up and they make eye contact, and he’s like, should I come have coffee with you? And she’s like, yes. And it ends with Mary sitting with Connor drinking coffee in real life, in real life, not online, not online. And Connor is successful because he’s in his natural state, right? Just in his normal Connor clothes, not who he thinks he needs to be. You don’t need to wear a suit to your open house, okay? Just be yourself, because authenticity works, right?

Unknown Speaker 45:43
So, good. Great. Ending. Okay, well, I

Alissa 45:45
have a quote for the end. Perfect. Last thing, okay, the movie begins and ends with a quote from Gigi. I’m gonna try to alter it, because it starts with, like, girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. Or, you know, realtors, yeah, like, if a guy punches you, he likes you. Okay? Agents are taught a lot of stuff in the beginning of their career. Every story we’re told implores us to wait for the twist, the unexpected declaration of success, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our client. We don’t even read the signs we are missing what is right in front of us. Next week’s episode is going to dive into this so much you think what you’re doing is what you need to be doing, but next week you will be able to like, flip that switch and be like, is what I’m doing actually the right things. How do we tell the ones who actually want to work, from us, from the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay, versus the ones who will leave. And maybe the happy ending doesn’t include a client. Maybe it’s just you picking up the pieces, starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing that after all of the unreturned phone calls, the broken hearts, the blunders and the misread signals through all the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope.

Katy 47:15
Was that not perfect? So perfect, so perfect, so proud of you for making this work. I can’t believe this is like your dream come true. It is. I’m

Alissa 47:25
so happy about this episode. I’m just beaming over here. You

Katy 47:30
really, you really should see her face on the YouTubes. Oh my gosh, I love it. I’m

Alissa 47:36
hoping this week we’ll have a lot of good Instagram content about this movie. I

Katy 47:41
mean, I hope you all watch it and then tell us if you love it we want to hear about it, or if you’ve loved it before, yeah, did

Alissa 47:47
you love it before? Did you go watch it because of this episode?

Katy 47:50
I mean, it’s, yeah, it’s been out there a minute. Okay, that’s it. Okay, great. Yeah. Here’s

Alissa 47:55
our toast. Bye. Hey, friends, it’s Alyssa. And I am presenting this toast from the recording booth at the expo in Anaheim, California. And we just had a broker come hand deliver us the cutest orange envelope. And he said, My agent said to please deliver this to Alyssa and Katie while you are at the Expo. And it was so fun to get this mail. And so I have her Toast here, and I am going to read it. My toast is to my managing brokers, Michelle Shepherd and Zach Miller. They work tirelessly to support all the agents in our office while continuing to handle their own real estate. They lead by example and exemplify the spirit and standards of being a realtor. Here’s to you, Zach and Michelle, thank you for all you do. And this toast is from Teresa dittmour, and they are in Indianapolis, and this was just the sweetest male thank you so much Teresa for sending us a actual envelope with your toast. So delightful. Thank you so much for tuning in to the hustle humbly podcast. If you enjoyed

Unknown Speaker 49:11
this episode, please go to rate this podcast.com/hustle, humbly and leave us a review or drop a comment if you’re listening on Spotify. If

Alissa 49:18
you have an episode topic or someone you’d like to toast on the show, please email us at team. At hustle humbly podcast.com, find

Speaker 1 49:25
us on social media at hustle humbly. Podcast, don’t forget to find all of the free resources at hustle humbly. Podcast.com/resources,

Alissa 49:34
see you next week. You

Two Realtors fostering community over competition through light-hearted conversations.



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